Trial By Fire
by AFIS
Summary: Jane and Maura are happily living together in domestic bliss until a orphaned baby is found at a crime scene. Maura pushes the two of them to take care of the child, much to Jane's chagrin. Elsewhere, Jane is forced to deal with a crisis concerning her career. Fourth installment of the Boston series.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own these characters or their universe. No money is made off of this fanfiction.

A/N - And here it is. The fourth installment. Enjoy. :)

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Jane Rizzoli stood in silence outside the observatory window of the pediatric unit of Boston General Hospital, watching her girlfriend, Maura Isles, with a slight frown. The frown wasn't directed toward Maura but the small eight-month-old baby girl sleeping soundly in her arms. As the doctor and his assisting nurse poked and prodded the adorable child for a response, Jane sighed, knowing that this was just the beginning of what promised to be a long day.

After being called out to a scene right in the middle of her day off, one of the few days Jane could spend with Maura alone, she had had to deal with a messy murder-suicide involving what looked like an abusive father and his fed up wife. Luckily, she had Maura with her to make the time go by faster. Jane had hoped that it would be a quick one-and-done case, something she could write a quick report with and get the hell back to bed, but Lady Luck had proven to be a cruel mistress.

Frankie, the responding officer to the scene, had somehow missed the baby amongst all of the carnage. It had been quite a shock to do the standard walkthrough of a homicide with Maura to hear a small plaintive baby crying in the nursery room adjacent to the crime scene. Jane had nearly killed Frankie for managing to screw-up the simple procedures required of being the first officer on a scene, but her main focus was on the young infant now under police care.

Jane had wanted to have a uniform drop the child of with social services but Maura – more so the child – had refused, passionately clinging onto the blonde, claiming Maura as her own for the time being. Any effort to take the Baby Jane Doe away brought a high-pitched squeal that made life difficult for anyone within fifty yards of the crime scene. Reluctantly, Jane was forced to wait for the coroner to pick the baby's parents' bodies up before her, Maura, and the happy baby could swing by social services at the hospital which was exactly what she didn't want to happen.

Maura was unused to working in the field. She didn't understand the critical separation between personal and professional, especially when an adorable orphaned Baby Jane Doe was involved. Not to mention, she had been making known lately her want for a child. Jane was beyond worried that Maura would get too involved, but she trusted that her girlfriend would maintain distance.

The kid is cute though, Jane observed from outside the window. Baby Jane Doe's button nose, rosy soft cheeks, and mop of fine black hair all added up to an adorable little girl that could easily create heartbreak. Watching Maura play with the giggling baby was beyond enjoyable, but she knew that it would have to end as soon as social services came to take the child away. It had to.

Sighing, Jane moved to open the door to the small examining room. Cooing sounds of baby speak assaulted her ears along with the smells of medical equipment wafted into her nose, bringing a sudden pang of pity for the child who seemed oblivious to the fact that she was now an orphan, alone in the big bad world. Poor little thing…

Jane shook her head, masking the sadness under a face of professionalism. "How is she, Doc?" Both Maura and the male doctor turned toward her in confusion. "Not you, Maura."

The doctor smiled. "I can't say conclusively until we get the blood tests back. Until then, she has a clean bill of health. Other than a fearful reaction toward men, the baby doesn't seem to be affected by everything that happened to her. The fear should diminish over time."

"Do you know anything about her name? We couldn't find any records in the home."

The doctor frowned. "That's the interesting part. Her birth records aren't in any hospital database."

In confusion, Jane narrowed her eyes. "How can that be? She had to have been born somewhere."

"Oh, she was born somewhere," he said, motioning for the nurse to hand Jane a small folder, "just not in the United States. Most likely her parents adopted her from another country, presumably from Japan. We found a copy of her birth record in a small hospital in Hokkaido. I put a rush on the records but that won't give us much other than what we already know, blood type, date of birth, name."

"Her name is something."

"Not really, Detective. The baby's name was probably changed by the adoptive parents upon reaching America."

Jane sighed. "So that leaves us in the spot we were in three hours ago. An eight-month-old baby with no name, no parents, no records. Great…"

"Boogoo…bat!" Baby Jane Doe exclaimed from Maura's arms with bright eyes, playing with the necklace around her neck.

So cute, Jane thought before returning her attention back to the doctor. "Have you tried social services? Adopting a kid from another country has to get them involved. They've gotta have something on their end."

"They demanded a court order."

"You've got to be kidding me…" Jane rolled her eyes in annoyance. "That's going to take days if not weeks to get. Well, are they going to, at the very least, come by and take the baby off of our hands? Or is that going to require a court order as well?"

"Well…"

Maura stepped forward, lifting her head from the burbling baby. "Jane…hear me out before you say no."

"No, Maura. Absolutely not. We cannot raise a baby, especially this baby."

"Why not?"

Jane sighed, turning to the doctor and his nurse. "Could you give us a minute?" she asked in a voice that warranted little discussion. They exited politely and the baby waved goodbye with a goofy smile that nearly caused a laugh to break from Jane's lungs but she recovered quickly.

"Honey," she pleaded. "There's no way this is going to work. You are the chief medical examiner and I'm a homicide detective. That means long hours away from the home."

Maura smiled smartly. "Pike's coming in to handle the workload for a couple of weeks. Cavanaugh will probably let you take some time off once we explain the situation. We can do this, Jane," she encouraged, stepping toward Jane. "Don't you want this? A child?"

"Of course I want this. For us, for you. I know how much you want a child. And you've been so patient, waiting for me to warm up to the idea but… This isn't the stork. The baby girl belongs to someone and it's my job to find who that is or, at the very least, someone who can." Jane moved to close the distance between them, caressing Maura's shoulder with a level of intimacy that came naturally. "Maura, I know you. You're gonna get attached and make things difficult when she has to leave."

Maura lifted one hand to move a lock of hair from Jane's conflicted face. The baby girl between them cooed happily, looking between the two women with a beaming smile.

"I won't get attached. We're just providing a temporary service. Nothing more," she said. "So you'll do this? You'll help take care of little Clementine with me?"

Jane made a comical face. "Clementine? What's wrong with Baby Jane Doe?"

"It's so impersonal. And since you found her…I just figured that she should have your name."

"Clementine isn't my name."

"Why don't you love your middle name, Jane? It's so pretty and feminine."

The baby – now named Clementine – grasped Jane's jacket, interrupting their discussion. "Mama! Mama!"

Mama…I'm not your mother, Jane thought weakly. But it was no use. With one word, the child had managed to do away with her defenses and make her feel emotions that were hardly productive toward temporarily raising a child. Those big eyes full of love… Ignorance was futile.

Jane sighed exasperatedly. "Fine. We'll take care of…Clementine. But you know what this means. All of the stuff we're going to have to buy-"

Interrupted by a squeal of excitement, Maura gave Jane a quick peck on the cheek. "I love you so much, Jane."

Clementine squirmed between them, forcing Maura to stand back. "Oh, Clementine, we didn't forget about you. You want Mommy Jane to hold you now?"

"No," Jane exclaimed adamantly. "I shouldn't. I…haven't washed my hands."

"Jane."

"What?"

"This isn't about you. This is about Clementine. Stop being difficult," Maura extended the beaming bundle of adorableness toward Jane, "and hold her. A baby's immune system is most critical around the six month mark. She's far pass that. No need to worry."

Reluctantly, Jane took Clementine in her arms. Stirrings of love bubbled in her heart, nearly bringing tears to her eyes. Was this the maternal instinct that her mother was always telling her about? The baby giggled, kicking her little sock covered feet, trying desperately to grab onto Jane's suit jacket again. Feeling this way about the baby worried her, but she knew not to become too attached to the point where it became problematic.

"You are too cute," Jane whispered, tickling Clementine's soft rosy cheeks. "I guess we're going to have to stop by the store on the way back home. Pick up some baby gear for you."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - Short chapter today. I sorry. That's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. Thanks for all of the love. Enjoy.

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Jane watched Maura with a frown as she flitted around the baby boutique store, grabbing anything and everything that appealed to her high sense of taste, meaning anything that was expensive. The store attendants happily helped Maura pick out everything from strollers to brightly colored onesies that matched the corresponding bonnets and blankets. Little Clementine had, at first, enjoyed watching her two foster mothers bicker about anything and everything but had decided around the second hour of being coddled by others to take a much-needed nap in Jane's arms.

"Maura…c'mon. We don't need to buy fifteen kinds of baby formula. Just get the regular kind," Jane said tiredly, shaking her head at the growing pile of baby nonsense accruing in the basket. "All of this is unnecessary."

Maura turned her head and raised an eyebrow in confusion. "The doctor gave us a list of everything we're going to need."

"Does it say on his list that we need to get a," Jane looked over at the large box of the stroller, "collapsible carbon fiber stroller? Unless the baby is training to be a F1 driver, I really doubt she needs to be," she read the box description, "ensconced in mechanical excellence."

"Well…maybe your right about the stroller but children thrive in comfort, honey. The Mayo Clinic did a prominent long-running study of the learning capabilities of children-"

"Stop. Just stop," Jane interrupted. "Maura, you're doing exactly what I told you to _not_ do. You're getting attached. This isn't our child to spoil."

"So you think I'm spoiling her?" Maura gasped.

Jane shrugged half-heartedly, looking away from the hurt in Maura's hazel eyes. In her arms, Clementine twitched her feet, releasing a slew of nonsensical baby-talk in her sleep. Jane knew as much as her words were meant to warn Maura from the inevitable, they were really intended for her own ears. Holding Clementine in her arms and seeing that unconditional love swirling in those big eyes made it increasingly difficult for Jane to imagine giving the child up when the time came.

What's wrong with me, Jane thought, knowing she wouldn't be able to provide the answer. Maybe the need to raise a little human was getting strong as she got older. Or maybe it was a midlife reproduction crisis. Regardless of the why, the emotions were here to stay.

Jane cringed as she looked back up to Maura's telltale quivering lips. Oh no, she's going to cry... "Maura… I shouldn't've of said that. You like nice things. Nothing wrong with that. But I don't want you to lose perspective and get hurt. I love you too much to see you in pain. Getting emotionally entangled with this baby will cause nothing but pain."

"Honey," Maura whispered, moving to comfort Jane, ignoring the jealous looks from the other customers. "Don't worry about me. I went to medical school. I know what it means to keep one's distance and not get attached."

"I hope you aren't just telling me what I want hear," Jane smiled knowingly.

"Of course not. You know I can't lie."

Before Jane could give a witty response, Clementine squirmed fitfully in her arms as if caught in a nightmare. A small cry of displeasure came from her small lungs but it was soon cancelled out by a loud giggle of excitement upon opening her big eyes and taking in her two mothers.

"Mama! Mama!" Clementine exclaimed, grasping at Jane's shirt eagerly. "Moo-moo. Moo-moo."

"Aww, she said moo-moo," Maura beamed.

"She wants milk, Maura."

Nervously, Jane and Maura looked at each other, unsure how to progress. From her time babysitting her two younger brothers, Jane knew what this meant. Clementine was hungry. Dammit, she had hoped they would be at home when it first occurred. Unless she started to spontaneously lactate, there was nothing she or Maura could do. Dammit, Jane reiterated mentally.

"Oh no," Maura said. "What do we do?"

Jane moved quickly into action, trying desperately to remain calm for Clementine's sake. If the baby felt her tension she would react accordingly with tears, crying, and squeals.

"Here, take her." She handed the squirming bundle over to Maura. "Go buy the stuff and I'll bring the car around."

"What if she cries?" Maura asked as Jane walked briskly out the door.

"Stay calm and she won't."

Maura looked down at Clementine's beaming smile. "You'll be good for Mommy Maura won't you?"

Clementine nodded happily, seemingly understanding Maura's predicament. Quickly, she moved toward the salesclerk to buy all of the various items, hoping that Clementine really could be a little bit more patient.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh Clementine…please, pretty please with cherries on top, stop crying," Maura cooed to the agitated hungry baby in her arms as she walked from the car toward the lighted interior of her and Jane's home. "See? We're home. Now you can get all the milk you want. No need to cry anymore."

Jane moved to open the door for Maura but, suddenly, the door opened from inside, revealing Angela Rizzoli's worried face.

"Jane? I didn't understand a word that you said over the phone. Something about a baby…"

With a shocked face, Angela looked down at the ruddy tear-stained face of Clementine who seemed hell-bent on screaming her little lungs out of her chest. An uncomfortable silence spread over the three women and even Clementine had stopped crying long enough to stare back up at Angela with mesmerizing eyes.

Jane waited for the reaction that was sure to come; either her mother would freak out and lend a hand or freak out and be completely unhelpful. She hoped for the former. That was the only reason she had made the decision to call her to come over while racing home from the baby boutique. Her mother would be a source for some much needed advice on how to take care of an eight-month-old baby for however long it took until a reliable member of the baby's extended family could be located.

Finally, after what had felt like a small decade, Angela smiled and took Clementine from Maura's arms. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing? You must be hungry," she continued, stepping back over the threshold. "I'm sure Grandma can find something for you to nibble on while your mommies get your stuff out of the car. You like bananas? I bet you like bananas. Let's get some 'nanas."

Jane sighed, glad that she had one less thing to worry about…at least, for the moment. She looked over at Maura with a shrug.

"That went well."

Maura was too tired to return a witty reply. It had only been nearly six hours since they had first found the child in the middle of a horrible scene of violence, and she was already exhausted. Yet with this exhaustion came an odd sense of pride. She had made it through the day with a baby, no longer was she just a thirty-something, she was a thirty-something who was gradually becoming a – dare she say it? – a mother. The thought terrified her, mystified her, pleased her like nothing else, and Maura welcomed every emotion with open arms. A small part of her mind reminded her of Jane's warning, but with each second of seeing little Clementine in her arms and, now, in her home as well, she felt the reminders get increasingly faint.

Clearing her throat, Maura turned her attention away from her thoughts and back to Jane.

"You shouldn't be surprised," she said. "Your mother loves babies. It certainly isn't that big of a stretch to think she'd help us out with Clementine, our…temporary baby."

Jane grabbed Maura's hand, ushering her toward Jane's unmarked to take out the assortment of baby boutique bags that Maura had managed to stuff inside. Jane grabbed the heaviest looking items while Maura took all of the remaining bags of miscellaneous items.

"I'm not surprised. Just…confused is all. You know my ma'. She has a tendency to be…" Jane searched for the right word, "a tad difficult. But, for once, she's being respectful," she whispered just loud enough for Maura to hear, depositing the bags in the foyer. "I don't know what to make of it."

Maura soon followed, nearly tripping with the combined weight of the bags.

"Then don't."

Jane frowned. "You alright?"

"Just tired," Maura sighed, dropping the bags as well. "Can you handle your mother for a minute? I need to change clothes."

Jane nodded, wanting to go after her girlfriend but deciding against it. Angela was patient but not that patient. Not to mention the baby seemed to have issues with anyone but Maura or Jane holding her for prolonged periods. And Clementine was clearly hungry, her cries were impossible to ignore…

Conflicted between her girlfriend's unspoken concerns and the baby's very pressing needs, Jane sighed, unsure of how to proceed.

"Jane, you better come in here with her formula. I don't think she's particularly happy to be eating solid food at the moment," Angela called out from the kitchen.

"Um…yeah, okay," she replied, grabbing the bag of baby food and formula. "Coming. We didn't know which stuff to get though so we just got like five of everything."

Jane dropped the bag of stuff on the kitchen counter, "Ready to feed, amino acid, soy based…"

"She can't wait for us to prepare the powdered formula. Get one of the ready to feed bottles. Anyone of them is fine. If she has an allergy we'll soon know about it," Angela said while attempting to soothe Clementine. "And when's the last time you changed her diaper? She needs a change or you're going to have a rash on your hands. Remember when Tommy had the worst case of diaper rash? His little butt was red for weeks."

Jane made a disgusted face, handing her mother a bottle of the formula. "Ma', c'mon. One thing at a time. Feed then diaper."

With a practiced flick of her fingers, Angela easily took the cap off of the formula bottle and started feeding Clementine. The crying immediately ceased, replaced with the quick eager sucking of a very hungry baby. Jane sighed, the tension in her body evaporating.

One problem now solved, she turned her attention to the vision of Maura reentering the room in sweatpants and a Boston Police Academy t-shirt. So beautiful, she thought. Even at her most casual, Maura was an absolute vision to behold. And she's all mine.

"Angela," Maura said, nodding at the older woman immersed in the suckling baby. "Is she feeding alright?"

Angela smiled. "Yes. Other than a much needed _diaper change_," she narrowed her eyes at Jane, "I think she'll be alright. Now, can someone please tell me what's going on? Are they giving children away at the hospital now?"

Maura told Angela the story while Jane changed Clementine's diaper. It took her experienced hands only a brief second to discard, clean, and replace the dirty diaper with a new one. The baby cooed happily throughout the whole process, giving Jane a big five tooth grin. Her heart leaped in response and she had to look away, embarrassed that her mother would notice her reaction to Clementine's happiness and comment.

"Are you sure you want to take this on?" Angela asked after Maura finished.

Maura started to pour coffee for the three of them. "Why wouldn't we? It's not a long-term commitment. We're giving Clementine a home until the proper familial attachments present themselves," she said, perfectly quoting Jane's earlier sentiment despite not believing a single word.

"And that's all well and good, Maura. But what if you get attached? You've already given her a name, a wonderful name by the way."

Jane looked up from Clementine's wide eyes. "Ma'…"

"Don't give me that look. I'm happy you two are taking on a child. It's about time, if you ask me. You two have been together for what? A year and a half? And you still haven't even brought up the idea of adoption or even a donor. I'm starting to think something might be wrong with the two of you. You refuse to do an official marriage ceremony like your relationship is some kind of a secret which is just dumb since everyone knows about the two of you. I mean come on. You two are nearly in your forties. I had you and Frankie by the time I was your age-"

In annoyance, Jane quickly interrupted her mother's nosy ramblings, "Ma'! Not your business. My relationship with Maura will never be your business. Do you have a point or are you just speaking to hear yourself talk?"

Angela rolled her eyes. "Children need _stability_, Jane. They thrive off of it. And you're a homicide detective, always putting your life on the line, out at odd hours. Not to mention your attitude can be a little scary at times. When do either of you have the time to raise a baby?"

Before Jane could reply, her phone vibrated on her side. Cavanaugh's name flashed on the screen and she reluctantly handed Clementine to Maura.

"It's Cavanaugh," Jane whispered, answering the phone. "Rizzoli."

"See this is what I'm talking about," her mother exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exhaustion.

Maura kissed Jane on the cheek and took Angela away to look at all of the baby stuff they had got from the boutique. Jane leaned against the kitchen counter, her eyes closed, waiting for the inevitable reprimand after leaving a crime scene and being unreachable for half the day. Here it comes, she thought.

"I called social services about the Baby Jane Doe. They said they haven't had any babies come in, nonetheless, one that meets the description of the child found at the scene. You know? The scene you tried to push off on one of the younger detectives." Cavanaugh paused long enough to make Jane uncomfortable. "Where's the baby, Jane?"

Jane sighed. "With me, sir."

"Rizzoli. _Don't _play the vague game with me. I've been playing it a lot longer than you and I know all of the tricks."

"At my house…with Maura, sir. I would have called you first but everything happened fairly quickly. I had to act using my own judgment-"

"And that's your problem, Rizzoli," Cavanaugh interrupted, his frustration obvious. "You act first, think later, and don't think about the consequences." He sighed tiredly. "Listen up, Jane. I don't care what you do with that child as long as it ends up where it belongs, with a family member. But I need you to come down to BPD. Right now. All hell's about to break loose and you're right in the middle of it, as usual."

"Thank you, sir. Yes, sir," Jane said automatically, hearing the electronic sound of being disconnected.

Dammit…what did I do now?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - Hello readers. No Clementine this chapter but Jane gets...in a bit of a predicament. I hope it makes up for the lack of baby time.

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Jane felt the stares of judgment from her fellow detectives before she had even reached Lieutenant Cavanaugh's closed door. She was used to being talked about but never judged. The sudden change bewildered her. All of the intense glares nearly made her forget about the pain of leaving Maura alone with Clementine so abruptly.

When Jane had told Maura that she had to head back to BPD, she had to struggle against her desire to stay home and spend the rest of the evening with Maura and Clementine. If it wasn't for her mother's offering to stay and help Maura with the child Jane might have done exactly that. Something about seeing Clementine's cute trusting eyes and, more importantly, seeing the look of bliss on Maura's face when she held the baby… All of the things that held a place of importance in her life ceased to be relevant.

With a sigh, Jane knocked on the Loo's door, mentally compartmentalizing all of those thoughts for another time. She needed to focus on the here and now.

"Come in," Cavanaugh commanded.

Jane opened the door with a straight face usually used for interrogating suspects. Cavanaugh sat in the dimly room behind his desk, lightly tapping the small blue packet of folded papers on his neatly arranged desk.

She grimaced, her eyes unable to look away from the blue packet. "Cavanaugh, you called?"

"This isn't a personal call."

"Sorry, sir," she said, feeling like a child in detention.

Cavanaugh looked up at his detective. "We have a problem."

"Yes, sir," Jane said obediently, motioning toward the collection of papers. "I can see that."

With a frown, Cavanaugh shook his head in annoyance. "Since you're so smart, Rizzoli, why don't you tell me who this problem involves?"

"Me, sir."

"Sit down."

Jane immediately sat in one of the chairs facing the desk. Besides the brief flash of frustration from him earlier, Cavanaugh's face revealed little.

"Rizzoli, you are easily one of the best homicide detectives on the force," he said, still tapping the papers.

Jane twitched anxiously. Am I getting fired, she asked herself. "Thank you, sir. But…I'd really appreciate it if you'd tell me what's going on."

Sighing, Cavanaugh handed her the dreaded blue packet. "You've been issued a summons."

Jane's heart plummeted as what she knew to be true was confirmed. This was the last thing she was prepared to deal with at the moment.

She read over the brief collection of documents, concentrating on the main points.

"This is bullshit," Jane exclaimed. "The Tomlinson family, on the behalf of the deceased, Edward Tomlinson Jr., hereby issue a complaint against the Boston Police Department, i.e. Detective Jane Rizzoli, for the wrongful mistreatment of the deceased, leading to or causing his death? I'm being _sued_? Who the hell is this? _What_ the hell is this?"

Raising his hands, Cavanaugh softened his features slightly. "Obviously BPD thinks otherwise. The head honchos upstairs have forbidden me to talk to you about this. Until this clears, you are on leave."

"But sir…"

"It's not my decision. The press is going to be all over this like white on rice. A celebrated female detective of Homicide being sued is just too big a story to pass up." Cavanaugh sighed heavily. "As much as I would love watching you deal with the wave of press that'll be descending upon BPD in the next couple of weeks, I can understand why the higher ups want you to stay home. I don't like it, but it is what it is."

Jane trembled with the effort to remain still. Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest as the tension continued to build. Sued, placed on leave, a new baby to care for…anything else to add to this cluster?

"Everything is going to be alright, Jane," Cavanaugh said reassuringly. "Lawsuits come and go. Nine times out of ten it ends up settling outside of court."

"Maybe, but I still have to walk through BPD knowing everyone thinks I caused someone's death. Does a settlement take care of that too?" Jane asked sarcastically, running her hands through her hair. "I should…probably start looking for a lawyer."

She started to stand up to leave but Cavanaugh stopped her with a glare.

"Rizzoli…don't let this lawsuit make you question yourself. A lot of detectives…" He broke off, struggling to say what had been on his mind since her arrival. Jane waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts, hardly in a rush to leave the place that had become her home away from home.

Cavanaugh walked from behind his desk to where Jane stood before continuing, "A lot of detectives never come back after a lawsuit. Those that do, most of them are never the same. The killer instinct is gone. Once you get to that point, a lot of detectives end up riding a desk, waiting until their pensions can kick in." He sighed heavily. "I've seen it happen. My old partner went that route."

Jane looked down in respect. "I'm sorry, sir."

"Don't be. He made his choice."

Silence covered the two of them as Jane waited for the inevitable that would seal the deal, ensuring her banishment, removing her identity. She couldn't even bear to look up into his eyes, scared of what she would find. Embarrassment, pity, sadness…regardless, Jane knew it would end up hurting far worse than being put on paid leave.

"Before you go, Rizzoli," Cavanaugh said, offering his hand. "Your gun."

Jane nodded, handing her beloved gun over to the Loo reluctantly. Almost immediately she felt off-balance and missed the comforting weight of her weapon on her hip.

"Anything else?" she asked, sniffling slightly.

Cavanaugh set down the gun and turned back to Jane. "This isn't a death sentence. Spend some time with the wife and that Baby Jane Doe. _Which_ I expect you to continue to find her family. I've assigned Frost to help you out while you're…away. Try not to make things too difficult for him."

"Yes, sir. I'll try to remember that," Jane muttered.

Without looking back, she left the Loo's office, putting every ounce of her energy into restraining the tears that threatened to fall.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N - Squished two small chapters to get one normal sized one. The first will cause cavities it's so sweet and the second is plot heavy. Enjoy.

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The door to the Rizzoli-Isles home slowly opened as Jane tried to sneak in without creating too much of a ruckus. She had told Maura that she'd be home before the sun went down but she didn't need to look at her watch to know she'd broken that small promise. Normally, she would haven't been that bent out of shape about not coming home exactly on time but with a new baby in the house and her mother's…unique brand of annoyance, Jane broke every speed limit trying to get back home. Handling an eight-month-old and her mother was just cruel and unusual punishment.

Jane cringed as the door creaked behind her. She had been meaning to fix that on her weekends off but other things kept her attention elsewhere. I guess I have the time now, Jane thought ruefully, locking the door behind her.

"Stupid, damn, shitwad of a door," she cursed.

"Well, hello to you too, honey," Maura mumbled sleepily, walking out from the bedroom in an orange silk robe. "I wish you would be a little bit more quiet. We have a baby in the house now." With a mock frown of disappointment, she pointed at the newly constructed crib near the window in the living room. "I _just_ managed to put Clementine down for the night. She's been so fussy since you left."

Jane brightened. "Really? You mean she missed me?"

"Yes…yearning would be the correct descriptor of her mood," Maura said, moving to check on Clementine. "But, regardless, you need to shush. Why are you so late? Did something happen?"

"Where's my ma'? She still here?"

Maura furrowed her eyebrows, fine lines of worry starting to form on her face. "Angela left nearly an hour ago. I pleaded with her that I'd be alright for the night." She started to move toward Jane with a frown. "Honey. Stop deflecting me."

Running her hands through her hair, Jane stumbled toward the crib where Clementine lay. The baby was clad in a new rainbow striped sleeping onesie, her adorable mop of black hair kept in check by a matching bonnet. As Jane lowered her hand down to caress Clementine, a sleepy giggle rose from her rosy cheeks, bringing a smile to her face. Too cute…

The feel of Maura's arms around her stomach, protecting her from harm, encouraged a whimper from Jane's throat. Her mouth started opening before she even realized it was happening.

"Cavanaugh put me on leave. He took my gun. My gun for goodness sakes! That's like taking my right arm away," Jane exclaimed, causing Clementine to wake up slightly. "Dammit, my hands hurt."

Maura started to massage the small scars on Jane's hands. "Shh…it'll be alright. Talk to me, Jane. Just talk to me," she purred. "You're not alone anymore. I'm here for you. I love you. Let me in."

"Maura…" Jane turned and embraced her lover as the tears started to fall. "I feel so damn lost. Like I'm not myself anymore."

Maura cooed, caressing the tension out of Jane's trembling back. "Then I'll come find you and bring you back with me. Even if it kills me."

"Maura…" Jane sobbed. "Don't say that. If you die, I die."

"Broken heart syndrome can be fatal but most patients, despite the initial pain, usually survive in most cases."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Maura."

"Sorry," she said, sticking her tongue out playfully. "Come on. We'll wake Clementine up if we keep at it. No more crazy hot sex in the living room."

"What makes you think we're going to have sex?" Jane asked. "Crying doesn't exactly turn me on."

Maura laughed quietly, walking them backward toward their bedroom. "Seeing you so vulnerable turns me on though. And we know how much fun we have when I'm turned on. It'll cheer you right up."

"Hmm…you might have a point," Jane muttered as Maura's robe opened with each stumbling step they took.

Despite the sadness in her heart, Jane welcomed her girlfriend's much needed distraction. She needed to forget for just a little while.

-!-

The next morning, Jane watched Maura go through the process of making the baby formula while she kept Clementine occupied with a game of patty-cake. The two of them were still dressed in pajamas after being waked up at the crack of dawn by Clementine's hungry cries.

Even with the sudden change in schedule, Maura seemed to be unfazed. They had nowhere to be given their temporary leave of absence from their normal responsibilities. Her main focus at the moment was to care for Clementine and to help Jane out of her predicament. Everything else could wait.

Last night, Jane had been too mentally shot to give Maura all of the details regarding her visit to BPD. She needed comfort and Maura made sure to supply it. However, now was a new day and Jane seemed ready to confront the problem with her usual get-it-done-yesterday personality.

"Are you ready to tell me the whole story now?" Maura asked, turning from the stove with a fresh bottle of milk in hand.

Jane looked up from Clementine's happy face with a sigh. "I'm being sued."

Maura nearly dropped the bottle in surprise. "What?"

Jane told her the whole story, leaving for a brief second to grab the summons from the small table near the door where she had thrown her keys last night.

"Jane…this isn't good," Maura said, looking over the summons while feeding Clementine. "You do realize who the Tomlinson family is?"

Rolling her eyes, Jane tried to laugh, releasing a groan instead. "And the plot thickens."

"Mama!" Clementine exclaimed, pushing the empty bottle away.

Maura smiled. "So that's how it's going to be… I'm the responsible mom whose only purpose is to provide food and Jane's the fun one that gets to play patty-cake." She handed the squirming baby over to Jane. "Since she likes you so much, honey, you get to change her diaper."

With an exaggerated smile, Jane took the giggling baby over to the small changing table. With her experience, it would only take a quick second to change Clementine's dirty diaper. Maura followed Jane to continue their conversation.

"The Tomlinson family is one of the new money elite of Boston. They made their money in media outlets," Maura explained, handing the baby powder over to Jane. "Meaning they not only have the money to spend on an endless legal battle, but they can also use the press against you, making BPD look like-"

"A bunch of incompetent cops who overstep the boundaries of the law," Jane interrupted, cooing at Clementine's baby talk.

Maura shrugged. "Well…I wouldn't have used those _exact_ words but yes. The press is the least of your problems. Legal proceedings can be long and costly."

"Cavanaugh said most of these lawsuits get settled outside of court."

"They do most of the time but this is a special case. There are a lot of…um…variables that make things difficult."

"Variables? What kind of variables?" Jane interjected. "I'm not your fourth grade science project, Maura."

"I got second place in fourth grade for my science project. Can you believe my cryogenics project lost out to a bunch of _ants_ in a _colony_?" Maura rolled her eyes in annoyance. "My report was extremely well done for a ten year old. I think I was shifted by the judges…"

"You mean shafted not shifted," Jane said exasperatedly.

"Whatever. The point is that you are a decorated female homicide detective that is respected in the community. All of those things put a big target on your back," Maura sighed. "Even if you manage to get the family to settle outside of court, I wouldn't be surprised if they try to take everything you have. Your job, pension, the money you got from selling your apartment…everything."

"Will they take my name too?"

"Jane…"

Clementine clapped her hands happily as Jane finished up, moving to clean her hands before grabbing the adorable baby up in her arms. Just having Clementine in her arms and feeling the maternal connection building in her heart was enough to ease her tension regarding the upcoming lawsuit. She appreciated having Maura to talk to in a situation like this but listening to her girlfriend say everything she had been trying to ignore did little to help her anxiety. Thanks, but no thanks.

Suddenly, a loud knock rang out from the front door.

Maura frowned. "Are we expecting company?"

Jane shrugged, handing the giggling bundle off to Maura. "It's probably Frost. Cavanaugh assigned him to help us find her family." She moved toward the front door with a tired yawn. "I'll get it. If you want, you can put the baby in the crib while you get dressed. I know how much you hate being seen in a state of casual dress."

"Ha-ha. Very observant for someone who only got five hours of sleep."

Jane narrowed her eyes in annoyance. "Oh c'mon…You know perfectly well _you_ were the main cause of my lack of sleep. Endurance is your middle name."

"Actually, it's Dorothea."

"You're so lucky that someone's at the door."

Maura smiled, standing on her tiptoes to give Jane a quick kiss. Clementine happily amused herself with a couple of toys in the crib.

"Answer the door before Frost thinks we're too busy having the hot lesbian sex of his dreams," Maura purred just as the knocking continued.

Jane growled. "That can be arranged."

With a flirtatious smile, Maura broke from Jane's arms. "I'm sure it could. It doesn't take much to get you in the mood." She rolled her eyes. "Answer. The. Door."

"Fine," Jane mouthed, turning away from the sound of Maura's bare feet on the hardwood floor. "Such a fucking tease." A giggle rose up from the crib. "See? Even Clementine agrees."

She opened the front door with a beaming smile. Upon seeing who was at the door her smile dropped, her armor coming up in response to the unexpected visitor.

"Eric? What are you doing here?"

Eric Weiss. A man Jane knew far too well. Nearly a decade ago, they had been engaged back when she had been a wet behind the ears detective in the drug unit and him a capable young prosecutor. Jane had made a mistake that had caused him to leave years ago but, after a prolonged period, Eric had come back to Boston as a reinstated ADA.

Jane never understood why she had been so enamored with him. Maybe it was his dry humor or the easy confidence that came with being around him. It certainly had little to do with his physical appearance.

Even he used to joke that he was a perilous step away from plain and Jane had to agree. He wasn't particularly handsome or striking like some of the men she had met in her life. Eric insisted on keeping his hair as short as possible, refused to wear a suit outside of the courtroom –claiming it made him feel like a pallbearer –, and regularly used to claim that he would quit law in a heartbeat for the chance to play on the Boston Bruins.

Regardless of how she felt of him back in the day, Jane felt little attraction to Eric now. She was a one woman kind of woman. Well…not counting the whole Agent Dean thing, Jane thought. That was just one huge mistake, never to be discussed again.

Eric, dressed in khakis and a collared shirt, issued a hand in greeting. "Jane… I heard you're in the market for a good lawyer. So, here I am."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N - Most of the legalese in this chapter is fictional and used to further the plot. Nothing more, nothing less. Regardless, have fun reading.

* * *

Jane and Maura, now out of their pajamas, watched each other awkwardly as Eric Weiss, Jane's ex-fiancé, marveled at Clementine's abundant adorableness. In an effort to keep her from feeling isolated from everyone, Maura had set up a small playpen for the baby. Eric had gratefully offered to put the portable device up and, in record time, all three of them could now talk while ogling Clementine. Eric, in particular, seemed particularly enamored with the baby.

"Aww…look at her!" he exclaimed with a slight smile. "She's standing on her little wobbly feet. Leave it to the lesbians to get the cute baby."

Maura blushed uncomfortably while Jane stood up and slapped Eric across the head like he was one of her brothers. Same Eric just ten years older, Jane thought. He might mean well, but his humor at times was dangerously dry. To anyone who wasn't used to it, he could easily be offensive. Maura was particularly at risk given her confusion of sarcasm.

"Eric…"

Eric frowned, noticing Maura's blush. "Sorry. That was rude of me to say," he apologized. "Let's get down to business before I say something else."

"Yes, lets," Jane said, leaning forward. "You know you can't do this. There's no way for you to be my lawyer. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm flattered that you're offering but you're an _ADA_. A prosecutor. Not a defense attorney."

Eric raised an eyebrow slightly. "Normally, you'd be right but this is a civil case and Boston has changed their legal statutes in the last couple of years, leaving legal loopholes to take advantage of."

"Such as?"

For a brief second, his eye's twitched toward Maura. "I know this might offend you but I'm required to ask," Eric said slowly, as if he was a doctor prepping a child for a shot. "We're going to be talking about legally sensitive information from here on out. In order for me to proceed, I need you to…ask Maura, Ms. Isles, to leave the room. And before you give me that look, it's not my rules. Attorney-client privilege."

Jane jumped up from the couch, causing a surprised cry from Clementine, her small hands dropping the wooden block toy. The blood pumped so loud in Jane's ears that she couldn't even hear the grinding of her own teeth.

"Anything you say to me, you say to Maura."

Eric crossed his arms, returning Jane's fiery glare. "This isn't about you two being together, Jane. This is a legal matter. If you take me on as your client, which I hope you will, then our discussions from here on out involving the lawsuit are confidential. I could care less what you two talk about in the privacy of your own home – this case, your new dildo, whatever – but when you're with me, alone, as your lawyer, our conversations are privy to the two of us. I'm sure you've seen an episode of _Law & Order_. You know this. Give me angry eyes all you want. Doesn't change the facts."

"He's right, Jane," Maura said quietly, moving to hold her girlfriend's clenched hand. "It's alright, relax. We can talk later. It's not like you're going anywhere."

With a smile, she took Clementine in her arms. "I think it's time for Clementine to be introduced to Bass. Would you like to meet Bass?" Clementine shook her head with a devious smile, her eyes shining bright. "Really? Well, I'm the responsible mommy. No arguing with Mommy Maura."

She walked off with the giggling child, leaving Jane alone with Eric.

Hearing the door close behind Maura, Eric frowned. "She's gone now, Jane. You can put the theatrics aside. Sit down," he commanded.

Jane growled before finally sitting back down on the couch.

"It was hardly theatrics, Eric," she said. "Start talking. How is this going to work?"

"Alright… This is a civil case. Boston statutes allow both the defendant and the plaintiff to forego using an attorney for a legal advisor as long as this legal advisor isn't paid for his or her services. It's a longshot to make the judge sign off on it. But BPD seems to think it'll take. They've already given me your approval to move forward as your counsel for the case."

Jane's jaw dropped. "So…you didn't need me to decide whether you're going to be my lawyer. The decision has already been made for me. That's great. When I joined BPD, I didn't know I'd given up my civil liberties."

Eric shrugged half-heartedly in response.

"Please, tell me something I don't know. Like what the Tomlinson family has against me or how I can beat this without losing my job," she sighed, cradling her head in her arms.

"You remember that joint unit operation that took place a couple of months ago?"

Jane looked up in thought, nodding slightly. "An endorser of underground raves was involved with producing something other than music to keep the kids coming back. Because of the trail of OD'd kids from Cape Cod to Boston every major BPD unit was in on it. We got a big haul that night. Nearly 20,000 units of X, the endorser and the drug producers, their headquarters. What's your point?"

"You don't remember shooting the boy that ran?"

With a sigh, Jane closed her eyes tiredly. So that's what this is about, she thought. "He ran from me when I started questioning him about his involvement. I ran after him, hoping that I could stop him. And then I saw that he was heading toward the Harbor, a guaranteed escape route in the dark. So I shot him. Two times, once in the chest and the second bullet hit his leg. I went to get help and by the time I got back the kid had gone into shock."

"That kid was the last heir to the Tomlinson family fortune," Eric said with little emotion.

Jane shrugged. "Okay…am I supposed to feel pity? He _ran_ from me. He ran from the _police_. Yes, it's unfortunate that he died, but he shouldn't have been at an underground rave. And he shouldn't have run."

"Way to show remorse, Jane."

"I'm a cop," Jane growled. "Showing remorse for everyone and everything would be suicide."

"I know, Jane. But that's what the crux of the Tomlinson family's argument is going to base itself on. The attorney for their side is going to argue that you made a choice to shoot a young man who was defenseless all on the basis of what? Your gut? Instinct? Training?"

"That night I did what I was trained to do. I followed protocol," Jane exclaimed passionately.

Eric was unfazed by Jane's passion, his face remaining still. "Good. You're going to need to stick to your guns during the trial." He leaned back into the cushions of the seat. "The attorney representing the Tomlinson family for this case is an asshole of the highest order. Lawsuits like yours are his bread and butter. He's always had a chip on his shoulder regarding police misconduct."

"He got a name?"

"Lawrence."

"The same Lawrence that led the rape lawsuit against a Vice detective last year?"

He rolled his eyes. "That would be the one. He loves to make the police, social services, whatever he can find look inept. Lawrence isn't going to pull any punches. He's going to do every little trick in the book to win this suit."

"Should I be worried?" Jane asked, making a lame attempt at sarcasm. "I thought you were the best, Weiss. Getting a little old?"

"I am the best," Eric said without a hint of pride. "But I just want you to be prepared. For anything."

She smiled. "I'll be fine."

With a returning smile, Eric handed Jane some documents from his satchel. "I'm required to give you this official document stating my legal involvement in your lawsuit. My contact information is on there. If you need to talk to me about the suit, you know how to reach me. We have a court date in two weeks. I'll call you in between then to do preps. Oh, Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"I never promise my clients that everything is going to end up all hunky-dory because more often than not, they don't. But you can be damn sure I'll give my all to make sure you get out of this with as little battle-scars as possible."

"That's exactly what you said to me last time. When I fucked up ten years ago," Jane whispered. "It always made me feel safe."

Eric chuckled. "That's my job." With a smile, he looked over Jane's shoulder, gazing at the hallway where Maura and the baby disappeared. "So…do you think I could see Clementine before I leave? If that's alright?"

Standing up from the couch, Jane laughed. "I think that can be arranged."

"And do you think you're going to be free tonight? It's Free Beer Friday at Fenway."

"Now that you're going to have to take that up with the wife."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N - Thanks for the reviews/favs/alerts/ect. They make me feel fuzzy inside. Have fun reading.

* * *

"I hope you're not still mad about earlier," Maura whispered to Jane as Clementine continued to snooze on the bed in between them. "Legal rights trump our…unique arrangement. I thought you knew that."

Jane made an exaggerated face of pity. "Are you seriously calling our relationship a 'unique arrangement?'" she asked, mimicking Maura's voice perfectly. "I thought I meant something to you. Guess not."

With a roll of her eyes, Maura took the pillow from behind her head, softly tapping Jane on the thigh. She avoided Jane's head, knowing that the motion might wake the baby. Maura didn't know why she had even bothered; the child was completely zonked out, her mouth opening slightly with each faint breath she took.

Noticing Maura's sudden preoccupation with Clementine, Jane smiled. "If only you could show me the same kind of attention…"

"Then you'd get lazy. I can't have that," Maura purred, tracing a finger down Jane's spine, causing a growl to break from her lips.

"Don't start something you can't finish."

"What makes you think I can't finish?"

"Clementine probably wouldn't enjoy it if we started screaming," Jane breathed, motioning to the snoozing baby between them.

"No, she probably wouldn't," Maura smiled, moving her hand away from Jane to play with Clementine's messy hair. "Seriously, are you really still mad about Eric telling me to leave?"

Sighing, Jane closed her eyes. "No, of course not. The idea of keeping secrets from you pissed me off. You know legal confidentiality doesn't mean anything to me when it comes to us. What's mine is yours."

With a smile, Maura lifted Jane's left hand into the fading afternoon light coming from the window.

"They'll never be any secrets between us. Never," she said, lacing their fingers together as the light shone upon their joined rings. "We love each other too much to keep secrets from each other. But since we're talking about secrets, I have something I want to share with you."

"Honey," Jane said. "I know you have a thing for Al Pacino. Watching the entire Godfather trilogy and saying every line pretty much put a nail in the coffin when it came to my suspicions. It's okay. He's hot…if you're into gruff older men."

Maura gasped in shock. "Al Pacino is not gruff, Jane. He's…" she took a second to pick the best word, "debonair. And older men have their benefits. They have incredible stamina and understand the various nuances of the wonderland that is a woman's body-"

"Oh my god…eugh!" Jane interrupted, making a comical face. "Really?"

"What? What did I say?"

"Shh. Don't speak."

Just as they began to lean toward each other for what promised to be a soul searing kiss, Clementine giggled, burbling a stream of nonsensical baby-talk. Her small hands eagerly grabbed the closest things available, two long locks of brown and blonde hair.

"Oww!" Jane exclaimed. "C'mon, Clementine. Your grip is killing my scalp. What do they put in that baby formula? Steroids?"

"Don't yell at her, Jane. She's exploring her environment. If you yell at her you could hinder her educational development."

Jane frowned. "Maura, you just pull these facts out of your a-"

"Jane! No cursing in front of Clementine."

Clementine laughed, releasing their hair from her grip. "Mau…ra? Ja…ne?" she mumbled, sounding out the new syllables. "Maura! Jane! Mama! Mama!"

In shock, Maura and Jane did a double-take. They were both thinking the same thing. Did she really say…my name, our names? An overwhelming sense of pride and maternal accomplishment shocked Jane with its intensity. It was getting progressively harder to remember that this baby wasn't her child to have these feelings for. Goodness knows what Maura was feeling.

Despite Jane's mental angst, Clementine was undeterred by her achievement, trying in vain to get one of her mothers to play a game with her. A tuft of black hair bobbed incessantly with each of her small movements.

"Did Clementine say what I think she just said?" Jane asked with a blank stare.

Maura squealed in happiness, clapping her hands happily. Clementine soon joined in.

"Ohh so cute! My little Clementine is so smart," she cooed. "Already able to speak with such an advanced vocabulary…such a prodigy. She's taking after me. By my first birthday, I was already speaking in basic sentences." Maura grabbed the baby up and got up from the bed. "If you keep continuing like this, we'll start you on learning another language. Hmm…what about French?"

Clementine shook her head adamantly.

"No? Well, what about German? German is a beautiful language full of heavy nasals and diphthongs. Doesn't that fun? Nasals and diphthongs!"

"Googur," Clementine babbled, turning toward Jane. "Mama!"

Jane got up from the bed. "Honey, please. Stop trying to make the child into Mozart."

Maura frowned. "I am _not_ trying to make her into Mozart. Children are in their most critical learning period for language between one and two years old. Clementine's already showing advanced skills. We have to take advantage of them before they are left to waste. My mother did the same thing for me. By the age of five, I was in a gifted student program at Mensa International."

"Wow," Jane exclaimed with fake enthusiasm. "Who knew Constance's hands-off technique would be used as an example of good parenting. Better alert the press."

Maura narrowed her eyes. "Your humor is so funny that I regularly forget to laugh."

Jane sighed as Maura walked out of the room, continuing her discussion with Clementine. As much as she wanted to reassert that the baby wasn't theirs to worry about language skills or whatever, Jane knew she would be lying to herself. The feelings she felt for the child were so strong that she couldn't ignore them any longer. Clementine was now a part of the Rizzoli-Isles family, whether she liked it or not.

"Dammit…this is the last thing I need," Jane whispered.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N - Sorry for being late with the upload. Real life stuff got in the way and some last minute edits took more time than I thought they would. I sorry. Thanks for the reviews as usual. Enjoy.

* * *

The waiting area outside of the courtroom was eerily quiet. Besides the sound of Jane's trademark boots squirming against the marble floor and their corresponding echo, nothing made a sound in the small space. She had some spare time before the trial started. Her mind immediately went to Clementine.

Even with Frost's help, Clementine's family situation was still just as muddy. The mother had bought the apartment recently to escape from her abusive husband. After further investigation, Frost had determined that the mother hadn't managed to move any of her official documents, in particular, concerning the adoption of the baby. Hoping the fingerprints would come back with something they could work with had ended up in bust. The father's hands had been chemically burned, leaving little for AFIS to work with, while the mother was a recent immigrant and her fingerprints weren't in the system. All they could do now was wait until the hospital got something back on their end.

As a result, little Clementine was still hanging out with Maura and Jane at the house, firmly establishing her place in the home and their hearts. Over the last two weeks the child had become a dominating force in their lives. Clementine now had her own room – Bass was not pleased with sharing his living environment with a new human…according to Maura –, their schedules were rapidly centering on what Clementine's needs, and the whole house reeked of baby powder and sautéed organic vegetable puree baby food nonsense. Even their friends with kids were starting to call them more often for play-dates now that they could attend without feeling like the dreaded third wheel.

Maura had even started taking Clementine to mommy-and-me classes, insisting on Jane's participation. Despite the embarrassment of trying to get an eight-month-old to get in the downward dog position, Jane found herself enjoying the time spent with Clementine.

It was simply fantastic seeing the child learning new things about the world, knowing she was helping to shape Clementine. And she knew Maura was feeling the same way given her sudden obsession with anything involving adoption. Their growing love for Clementine was asking for trouble in the future but she couldn't stop the train now.

Regardless, Jane's main focus at the moment was the trial. Hearing a couple of steps tapping in her direction, she stood up from her seat, running her hand through her hair.

"I was wondering if you were going to show up," she said sardonically.

Eric strolled up in a tasteful suit, his relaxation evident. "Sorry for being late. I couldn't find a place to lock my bike up. All of those damn Smart cars are hogging the parking spots. They really need to make a law saying that ten Smart cars can't take up ten spots," he said, his eyes taking in Jane's appearance. "You look like you've got something on your mind."

Jane shook her head. "Nothing. Just kid stuff."

Eric smiled. "Clementine is so cute. Did she like the teddy bear I brought her?"

"She sleeps with it like it's her long lost lover," she said, looking at the closed courtroom door. "Has the game-plan changed or we going to go follow through with what you told me on Saturday?"

Eric dropped his smile, giving his trade-mark straight face. "Nothing's changed. The plaintiff's attorney will address the judge with the complaint and present evidence. In a case like this, your testimony is going to be the primary evidence. Be prepared to come to the stand. Remember this is a civil case. The defendant doesn't have the burden of proof. You just have to sit on the stand and answer the questions truthfully. I'll handle the rest. Alright?"

Jane nodded.

"I peeked in the courtroom earlier. You've got your share of supporters," he said, hoping to cheer his friend up. "I didn't see Maura and the baby though."

"Told them to stay at home. Clementine came down with a fever." Hearing his gasp of concern, Jane looked over at him with a confused face. "What? Babies aren't allowed to get sick?"

"I'm going to send some flowers." Eric took out his cell phone and starting dialing. "There's a really good florist near your place who always has amazing arrangements. The owner is a bit of an ass though. His talent makes up for it."

"Wait! You don't have to-"

With a shush, Eric interrupted Jane while he ordered a floral arrangement for Clementine. As he finished up, a court aide came out of the room to tell them that the judge was about to start proceedings.

"You didn't have to do that, Eric. Clementine's not dying. She just has a fever," Jane grinned.

Eric turned his phone off before placing it inside his satchel. He gave Jane a look. "I know. I figured it would cheer you up. It's clearly hurting you to be away from her."

"I'm…fine."

"Oh…okay," Eric said sarcastically. "Tell that to your face 'cause it's looking awfully not okay." He grabbed the handle to the door, his face a mask. "Are you ready? Things could get ugly real fast in there if you're mentally preoccupied."

Jane sighed, readying herself for the first day of what promised to be hell on earth. As much as her heart told her otherwise, she knew it was time to focus and put all her personal affairs aside for the moment.

"Should I be worried?" Jane asked in a whisper.

Eric's eyes narrowed. "Yes, you should."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N - Hello, readers. Wanted to make Jane squirm a bit with this chapter. And I hope everyone has fun watching R&I summer finale tonight. :) Now, on to the story.

* * *

Eric had not been kidding. The attorney for the Tomlinson family, Lawrence, was a sight to behold…if you enjoyed watching master manipulators at work. He parried and dodged Eric's attacks easily, hardly deterred by his adversary's clever attempts. From the look on his face, Jane knew Eric was just testing Lawrence to see if he was on his A-game. Regardless, she just hoped he could keep up with the other attorney when the kiddie-gloves came off. Her livelihood depended on it.

With a quick look over at the plaintiff's side, Jane noticed that, besides Lawrence, no representative from the Tomlinson family was present. That's odd, Jane thought. Why sue someone if you can't even be bothered to show up? Maybe this would mean that the lawsuit was dismissed and she could go back to Homicide…

After listening to Lawrence's endless diatribe, the judge finally addressed the obvious absence of his client, "Mr. Lawrence…as much as I would love to continue listening to one of your legendary opening statements, could you please tell me where your client is? There's no point continuing onward with this trial if a representative of the Tomlinson family doesn't show up."

Lawrence smirked at Jane and Eric. "My client is undergoing chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. She is absolutely devastated she can't be here, your honor, but her treatment makes sitting for prolonged periods _extremely_ difficult on her body. I'll be acting as a sole temporary representative of the Tomlinson family's wishes for this trial."

The judge sighed. "Predictable… You better have documentation for this supposed illness. I know how much you love to embellish, Mr. Lawrence."

"Of course, your honor," Lawrence said condescendingly, handing the papers over to an aide.

The judge skimmed over the papers while Jane squirmed awkwardly in her seat, waiting for something, anything, to happen. She hated sitting in court. I wonder how Clementine is doing, Jane thought distractedly. When she had left in the morning, the baby seemed fine. A little fussier than usual but nothing Maura couldn't handle on her own. Jane had told her mother to drop in on the two of them just in case, hoping that precaution wouldn't be necessary.

With a polite cough, Eric brought her attention back to the trial. He offered her a smile.

"Stay focused," he commanded softly. "He sees you off guard, he'll take advantage."

Jane nodded slightly in response. Normally, she would have no problem focusing but that was before she had a child at home to worry about.

"Fine, everything is in order." The judge handed the papers back to the aide. "Now that that is settled, let's move on to the individual stances and the testimony."

"But I haven't finished my opening arguments," Lawrence whined.

"Half of us are asleep, Mr. Lawrence. I think you've finished," the judge replied, causing a round of quiet snickers to rise up from Jane's supporters.

"Yes, your honor. The Tomlinson family has submitted a complaint against Detective Jane Rizzoli of the Boston Police Department for having an undue influence in Edward Tomlinson Jr.'s death. We seek to prove that Jane Rizzoli's actions were a result of incompetence on her part."

In frustration, Jane clenched the wooden table, the word 'incompetent' forcing a growl from her throat. She was a respected detective. The word incompetent had never once factored into any of the many glowing reviews of her through the years. Temperamental, yes. Incompetent, no. Eric's eyes stayed locked on his adversary's as he lightly patted Jane's knee in an effort to lower her tension.

"Thank you, Mr. Lawrence," the judge said disinterestedly, turning his attention to Eric and Jane. "And the defendant's response to the plaintiff's allegations?"

Jane wanted nothing more but to jump up and claim her innocence but Eric had told her to specifically to hold all of her enthusiasm for her testimony.

"We refute the plaintiff's claims. Despite his obvious lack of evidence, we claim this is a frivolous lawsuit, serving no other purpose but to waste the court's time and further Mr. Lawrence's own…personal agendas against the Boston Police Department. All charges should be dropped."

A cheer of approval came up from the crowd. Jane smiled, glad to be feeling all of her fellow detectives supporting her.

"This is a court room. Not the Calgary Stampede. If all of you don't quiet down, I'll have no problem charging each of you with contempt." The cheers settled down and the judge turned his attention back to Eric. "Thank you for your opinions on what my ruling should be concerning this case, Mr. Weiss. But this is my courtroom. I know you've been out of the loop for a while but knowing who's in charge of handing down judgments is first-year law school."

"My apologies, your honor," Eric replied.

The judge nodded, turning his attention back to Lawrence with a barely concealed yawn.

"Mr. Lawrence, please call your witness."

"Thank you, your honor. I call the defendant, Jane Rizzoli, to the stand."

Surprised to hear her name, Jane blinked once, twice, three times before Eric tapped her on the shoulder to wake her up. This was it, her chance to set the record straight. She stood up from chair and proceeded to the small area next to the judge. With a quick recital of the mandatory oath, Jane sat down, ignoring all of the stares of those around her except for one. Her attorney, Eric Weiss. Even though it had been nearly ten years since she had been placed in this situation with him, Jane still felt the same level of safety upon being called to the stand, knowing he would always have her back.

Jane sighed, waiting for the questions to start. After what felt like an hour, Lawrence walked up to her.

"Detective Rizzoli, do you mind if I call you that? Detective Rizzoli?" he asked sweetly.

"That _is_ my name."

Another chuckle rose from the crowd.

Lawrence smiled. "Yes. That is your name isn't it?"

"Objection," Eric groaned with an eye-roll. "I think the witness knows her own name."

"Sustained. Move on to your next question, Mr. Lawrence," the judge yawned, seemingly bored with the proceedings.

"Are you aware of the proceedings that took place concerning Edward Tomlinson Jr.'s death?"

"Yes, sir."

"Could you relate it to us?"

Jane related the events of the drug raid to the court.

Lawrence ran his hand through his hair, walking back to his desk to pull out several medical reports. After walking back to Jane, he handed the reports to her.

"Could you please read those autopsy reports of the deceased to the court please? The highlighted portions," Lawrence said condescendingly, as if she couldn't have possibly made that connection herself. Asshole, Jane thought, tapping her feet against the floor in annoyance.

Her eyes skimmed over the report. "The deceased, Edward Tomlinson Jr., suffered from advanced forms of schizophrenia, mostly resulting in auditory hallucinations, paranoia, delusions, and disorganized cognitive functions resulting in a diminished capacity for speech. He had been ignoring his medicine for several months given the lack of antipsychotics in his bloodstream."

"Excuse me, your honor. There is no reference of this report in the official autopsy report of the chief medical examiner."

"There shouldn't be," Lawrence replied smugly. "These findings were delivered to me by the Tomlinson family's private psychiatrist."

Lawrence took the report back from Jane, turning to address the court.

"The deceased was a schizophrenic who wasn't on his medication…hmm, it all adds up, doesn't it? Jane Rizzoli shot a young man _twice_ who was suffering from a _psychotic episode_. He had little to no control over his actions that night, yet Ms. Rizzoli felt the need to shoot him. Not subdue him like Section E.F.12.5 of the police academy rulebook mandates." Lawrence handed a copy of the highlighted section of the handbook to the judge. "Typical…you and your fellow detectives seem to take this line of action a lot. Isn't it true that your partner, Detective Barold Frost, also killed a suspect in the bank robberies that occurred last year?"

"Yes, but the suspect in question was an accomplice in the bank robberies and he was going to pull a gun on my partner."

Lawrence smiled wryly. "So the potential of lethal force by a suspect who could have easily been subdued validates a detective's choice to use lethal force…hmm, that's good to know."

"Objection," Eric sighed. "Rhetorical questions are hardly conducive to a proper testimony, your honor."

The judge nodded, fiddling with his cuff links in boredom. "Sustained. Mr. Lawrence, get to your point, sooner rather than later. Either rephrase your question so the witness can answer properly or move on."

"Yes, your honor," Lawrence said, unperturbed by the interruption. "Let's turn our focus back to the victim, Edward Tomlinson Jr. Why did you decide to shoot him, Detective?"

With a raised eyebrow, Jane returned her attention to Lawrence. "Mr. Tomlinson ran. He was going to jump into the Harbor unless I stopped him. If he went into the Harbor he would have gotten away."

"So you didn't notice anything odd about his behavior? According to the medical report received from his psychiatrist, Tomlinson would have been acting erratically. In particular, his doctor reiterated to me that the victim had a predilection towards glossolalia, speaking in tongues in layman's terms."

"I was a bit too busy trying to apprehend the subject in question to notice those kinds of details. So, no, I didn't notice anything particularly erratic about his behavior."

Lawrence laughed, turning his attention back to the detective. "And that's all that matters to you, Detective? Apprehending your suspect and getting your man at all costs? Even if that man was _innocent_? Even if he _died_?"

"I'd hardly call running away from the police the actions of an innocent man, sir."

"Actions don't prove guilt in the legal arena, Detective," Lawrence said, slamming his hand on the desk in front of Jane. "You took his chance to be declared guilty before the law by using lethal force. All because he acted like a guilty man, not to mention this assumption is based off of _your _singular opinion…"

Jane growled with clenched teeth. "What are you getting at?"

"You know what I'm getting at. That night you made a decision to shoot an ill man for no other reason but to make a collar. He wasn't being charged, yet _you_ insisted on going after him like he was a producer of the drugs in question. No one can prove their innocence in a court where the judge is playing the jury."

Jane slammed her fist down on the wooden barrier before her. "I did not play judge and jury. He could have been a producer or a distributor. I didn't know because he _ran _before I had a chance to finish questioning him. He made the decision to run, not me! I did nothing wrong. I apprehended the fleeing suspect using any means necessary. That's what cops do!"

"And where in the BPD handbook does it say that it's okay to shoot a defenseless suspect two times?" Lawrence asked, reflecting Jane's own anger back at her in an effort to further enrage her. "Face it, Detective. You shot the plaintiff's son, not because you were following protocol, but because _you_ thought it was the right thing to do. You made the decision based off of your own moral code that told you to shoot that defenseless man _two times_, once in the chest and once in the leg, because he was a criminal to you, in your eyes. Accept it."

"There's nothing to accept," Jane exclaimed, her blood pumping in her ears. She looked over at Eric with pleading eyes but knew there was nothing he could do. Lawrence was doing a damn good job examining her testimony, finding the flaws that he could manipulate to his advantage. There was nothing for Eric to object to. Nevertheless, he offered a sympathetic smile, encouraging her to weather the storm of being on the stand.

With a confident smirk, Lawrence went over to his satchel and grabbed a set of pictures out of his bag. Jane felt a sense of dread coming over her.

"You'd do anything to get your man, wouldn't you, Detective?" he asked with just a hint of a snarl.

At the sudden shift in Lawrence's mood, Jane narrowed her eyes. "Yes. Any cop worth his salt would tell you the same."

Placing the pictures on the projector, Lawrence looked back at Jane with a devious smile.

"And that's understandable. With the police department cutting back on funds while crime rate continues to increase, you have to find any kind of advantage you can just to keep up."

"I guess… Advantages are important. It's why most detectives have CIs, to keep an ear on the areas where cops wouldn't be exactly welcome and gain an advantage," she frowned, her confusion at Lawrence's line of questioning obvious.

"Interesting. Does that include going outside the law, bending the rules, to get an advantage?" he muttered, turning on the projector, revealing the pictures to the court. "You being a woman coming into the male-dominated world of BPD and so dedicated to closing cases, getting your man, you decided to use what skills you had to get an advantage. Like dating a prosecutor or maybe even a chief medical examiner."

A shocked sigh came up from the court, causing Eric to quickly stand up. "Objection. Your honor, Detective Rizzoli's personal life isn't on display for the public. It has nothing to do with this case. Could we please stay on focus?"

Jane turned and stared at the collection of pictures being displayed. Jane and Eric at the annual costume party, Jane and Eric at a mutual friend's barbecue, Jane and Eric on vacation in Florida… All of the past memories of her relationship with Eric displayed for public viewing. She could barely breathe as the anger and embarrassment clenched her lungs. There was no need for her colleagues to see this.

And how in the hell did he figure out that she was with Maura? It was hardly a secret but still there was a level of discretion amongst those in BPD. Everyone knew that talking to an outsider about another detective's affairs was next to verboten unless your life depended on it. What happens in BPD, stays in BPD.

"Eric," Jane whispered, desperately hoping he could stop the trial. She might be tough, but there was only so much abuse she could take. All she wanted to do was to insert her nails into that groveling sonovabitch's neck and make him understand what it felt like to feel…uncomfortable. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the impulse, her fingers twitching with the effort.

"Judge, I'd like to ask for a recess for the day. The defense was not prepared for this sudden change in Mr. Lawrence's argument."

The judge coughed, his face taking in Lawrence's pictures with a frown of disapproval. All pretenses of his earlier boredom dropped nothing but seriousness in its place.

"Yes, I think that would be appropriate. However, I'd like to say that I have no intention to sit through an expose of the defendant's personal affairs. Proving Detective Rizzoli's guilt regarding the matter at hand is one thing, but going on a witch-hunt to further nothing more but a personal vendetta against law enforcement is not a fish I want swimming around my courtroom. Continuing down this path of discussion is the quickest way to get this trial dismissed. Mr. Lawrence, you have been warned. Court resumes tomorrow at one pm. Court is adjourned."


	10. Chapter 10

After the debacle of the trial, Jane dragged her feet in getting home. She needed time to get her ideas together. The case had gotten to her far more than she had thought it would. For the first time in her career, she was forced to reflect on her actions, all of the times she had used lethal force. One question in particular forced itself to the center of her consciousness: What makes me any different from a murderer?

Sighing, Jane parked the car in its customary spot. As she trudged out to make her way to her home, she hardly noticed the tall red haired man wearing an all-black uniform coming from across the street.

"Jane?" the man yelled, running across the street. "Jane, wait up!"

Jane lifted her head tiredly, turning toward the sound of the man's voice. Who could that be?

The man reached her with long strides, his tuft of red hair bouncing boyishly with each step. She recognized him but, in her mood, she was unable to place a name to the face.

"It's me. Elias. How have you been? You look as good as ever."

Ahh…Elias Macfarlane. Him again. Whether he was aware of it or not, Elias had opened the door for her to admit her feelings to Maura over a year ago. He had also nearly caused them to break up just a couple of months ago. Jane had since moved on and forgave Maura for her minor indiscretions with him, yet she still was on edge whenever she was around him. There was just too much history between them to forgive and forget. Knowing that Maura was still friends with him Jane tolerated his presence, nothing more.

"Can I help you, Elias?" Jane asked curtly, looking at her watch.

Elias beamed, undeterred by her tone. "No, I just wanted to say hi. I'm just finishing up some of my last deliveries for the day. I don't normally deliver this late but people in Beacon Hill really enjoy their flowers."

Jane perked up at the last part of his sentence. Flowers…Elias is a florist…oh god, no.

"Hey, um, Elias?"

"Yep," he said disinterestedly, already beginning to head back to his brightly decorated delivery van.

"Did you get an order from an Eric Weiss about some flowers being delivered to me and Maura's house?"

With a frown, Elias took out his order log and flipped through the pages. He nodded before placing the small book back in his pocket.

"He's a regular customer. I didn't personally deliver that particular order though. One of my other drivers did. I got an order to deliver a vase of roses to his girlfriend in Cambridge. Traffic coming back was brutal. Why do you ask?"

Jane smiled in relief. The last thing she wanted was Elias potentially pestering Maura with his inane problems while Clementine was sick.

"No reason. I've got to go. I'll see you around." Hopefully never, Jane thought.

With a quick handshake, Elias left and Jane turned back to the door of her home. A quick turn of the keys opened the door.

Jane looked around the familiar space in confusion, expecting to see someone – hell, even Bass or Jo Friday – come and welcome her back home. Where is everyone? She looked at her watch, despite already knowing that it was around seven. Maura sometimes took Clementine out for a jog to the park but she was sick, there was no need for her to go. Did something…happen? Her heart raced as all of the potential evil scenarios ran through her head. Choking, accidental strangulation, spontaneous combustion, eye falling out, death…

Suddenly, a whispered melody called out to Jane from Maura's room. She immediately recognized Maura's off-key singing voice and the responding giggles of happiness from Clementine but it took her a little longer to notice the unfamiliar lullaby.

"_Oh my darling, oh my darling,_

_Oh my darling, Clementine._

_You were lost and gone forever_

_Dreadfully sorry, Clementine."_

Maura sung the verse with a slow, methodical rhythm, each of Clementine's happy giggles becoming more sporadic as sleep started to take the baby captive. Even Jane was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her eyes open. Somehow her girlfriend's melodic yet off-key voice had smoothed away all of the tensions of the day and Jane wondered why she had decided to take her time getting home. This was where her heart belonged. Regardless of what happened throughout the day, Jane could always count on Maura to be waiting with a comforting smile and her quirky humor.

Taking off her boots and jacket and throwing them in their bedroom, Jane quietly entered the bathroom to see her two favorite girls, Maura and Clementine, in the bath, enjoying each other's company. The comforting heat of the sudsy bath water, Maura's lullaby, and the smell of lavender had all proven too much for little Clementine who was completely zonked out while the blonde continued to wash the baby off with soft strokes so as not to wake her.

"You want some help with that?" Jane asked in a whisper, bending down to kiss Maura's forehead.

"And get water all over the floor? I think not," Maura whispered back, smiling brightly at Jane's arrival.

"Remember the last time I helped you in the bath? That was fun."

"Yeah, it was real fun…until I had to get out the industrial sized mop." She rolled her eyes at the memory. "That was not fun."

They both laughed quietly before silence fell over the small space. Maura looked over at Jane's wearied expression with soul-searching hazel eyes. No words were needed as their hearts spoke out to each other.

Simultaneously, as they continued to talk in the way only lovers can, their eyes moved toward Clementine, peacefully snoozing against Maura's breast.

"She's doing much better," Maura said, answering Jane's unsaid question. "Angela came by with lunch around two so she was a little excited. After she left, I put her down for a nap and when she woke up her temperature had lowered."

Jane sighed in relief. "Thank god."

"She's been missing you," Maura added matter-of-factly.

"Finally, someone who appreciates me in this family," Jane said wryly, avoiding the splash of soapy water playfully flung in her direction.

"Stop it or I'll start singing again."

"What will you sing?"

"Michael Bublé," Maura beamed.

Jane made a comical face of disgust. "Eugh…I think I'll stop. God knows I don't want to listen to you mutilate 'Quando, Quando, Quando' again."

With a roll of her eyes, Maura grabbed a towel from behind her and bundled Clementine up, handing her off to Jane, who happily took the clean baby in her arms. Besides a slight fluttering of her eyes, Clementine continued to sleep against Jane.

"So…tell me what happened." Maura, now free of the baby, relaxed in the remaining lavender suds of the warm water. "Nothing too eventful, I hope."

Jane chuckled bitterly. "If only."

She proceeded to tell Maura everything that went on during the trial.

"Oh…sweetheart," Maura began after Jane had finished her recounting of events. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that without me. And I can't believe that Lawrence guy would even bring up our relationship. That's just…below the sash."

"Belt."

"What about belts?"

"Maura…honey, it's 'below the belt' not 'below the sash.'"

A wayward dollop of suds dropped into Maura's eyes as she tilted her head in confusion. How can one woman be so adorable, Jane asked herself, feeling a surge of love for the goofy blonde.

"But why can't it be sash? Both are worn around the waist. A sash is far more gender neutral than a belt."

"I don't know," Jane said exasperatedly. "Maybe we should call the authors of The Oxford Idiom Dictionary and let them know your concerns?"

"Sorry, sweetheart. I can't help it."

Jane shrugged. "It's okay. I just can't stand feeling this out of control. I don't understand why this Lawrence guy feels the need to bring up my relationship with you or Eric. That's not his business nor does he have the right to just air it out to everyone."

"He's trying to prove that you're inadequate. He apparently feels that attacking you personally is the best way to achieve that goal. But at least the judge called him out on it."

Maura stood up from the bath to towel herself off while Jane started to dress the now dry baby with all of its accoutrements. Clementine, awakened by all of the activity, released a loud squeal of excitement, overjoyed at seeing her two mothers together.

"Mama Jane! Mama Maura! Ahhbabbiloo," Clementine burbled, tugging at Jane's long hair.

"Ahhbabbiloo to you too, Clementine. I missed you so much. You had me worried." Jane smiled, finishing up with Clementine and taking her up in her arms. "I just don't understand why he's so adamant on proving that I'm inadequate. What's his endgame? To get me fired?"

Maura looked over at Jane with a raised eyebrow. "Jane, what are we talking about? And remember to use baby-talk with Clementine. It increases her social bonding and cognitive development. High cognitive skills lead to a reciprocal relationship with language capabilities which Clementine has already proven to be quite good at."

"The case, Maura. We're talking about my lawsuit."

"Ohh…well, don't worry about it," Maura said dismissively, walking out to their bedroom with a towel around her head. "You're not inadequate. Eric will show the court that tomorrow. As annoying as it is to have our relationship brought up in court, it doesn't matter. I know you and you know me. Let everyone else gossip. Oh, you've got feeding duty tonight. What do you think about doing something with avocado and tofu tonight? She enjoyed it last week."

With a raised eyebrow, Jane followed her girlfriend. Clementine started to play on the floor of the bedroom, entertaining herself with her reflection in the full length mirror, before Jane sat down on the bed, watching Maura dress.

"Is that all you have to say?" Jane asked exasperatedly.

Maura looked over at Jane, head tilted in confusion. "Yes. Unless…are you unsure of your innocence, Jane?"

"No…I don't know…it's just…what if he's right?" she stammered.

"Right about what? You being inadequate at your job or using your relationships as an advantage in closing cases?"

Jane nodded, keeping her eyes on Clementine who was trying to catch her toes. Despite a much determined effort on Clementine's part, the toes were winning the fight. Instead of getting frustrated like most children would, the baby giggled happily, seemingly undeterred.

How does she manage to be so cute all the time?

"Jane, don't let him get in your head." Maura sat next to her on the bed. "You made the decision that you thought was best at the time based off of your experience."

Without having to be asked, Jane started to braid Maura's damp hair with experienced fingers. Even before they had realized their feelings for each other, they had always enjoyed doing this simple act together. She would never admit it but she got a secret thrill out of feeling her hands running through Maura's honey blonde, shoulder length locks.

Relaxation flowed into Jane's tired frame, opening her up to discuss her feelings more readily than she would otherwise.

"And that doesn't make me a bad person?"

"Being bad or good is just based off of perspective."

"Thanks a lot for that advice, Ghandi," Jane pouted.

Maura rolled her eyes. "Fine, be rude. You want someone to join your pity party then go take Jo for a walk. I'm not going to participate."

"Ouch…that was kind of harsh."

"Because I love you, Jane," Maura smiled, standing up. "And the Jane Rizzoli I know would never doubt herself or her actions."

With a brief caress, Maura left Jane and Clementine to prepare dinner. The baby started to crawl after her before turning back, looking for Jane to follow.

"Mama…Jane," she babbled happily.

Jane sighed. "You think I'm being an idiot too, don't you?"

Clementine nodded happily, her hands attempting to lift her small body up to stand. As she reached her full height, her legs began to wobble and she dropped back down to the plush carpet. Despite the fall, Clementine started laughing as if falling down was an amusement.

Well, that's great. I just got told out by an eight-month-old baby.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N - I'm getting a little exhausted. :( But before I have a complete creative meltdown and go on a much needed hiatus, I will try to finish this story up.

* * *

The sirens woke Jane up before she heard anything else. All of the screaming, clashing, and rampaging that echoed through the house didn't even cause a ripple in her dreaming but, suddenly, visions of Clementine running happily through the backyard of their new home while she watched proudly were replaced with Maura's anxious cries.

"Honey, get up. Please, there's no time," she exclaimed, pounding Jane to wake up.

Hesitantly, Jane struggled to shake herself from sleep. Judging from the light coming in from the bedroom window, it was still fairly early. What's the rush, Jane thought tiredly, closing her eyes again.

"Jane! Please, the ambulance is here and they need someone to go with her. Oh God," Maura broke off as the emotion overwhelmed her, "just wake up."

Finally rousing her subconscious from sleep, Jane grabbed hold of Maura's hands. She could see the dried trails of tears that had made their way down her blotchy face, the fear in her glassy eyes, and the unusually unkempt tendrils of blonde hair strung back in a ponytail as if it was an afterthought. All of the visual signals paled in comparison to the palpable anxiety coming from Maura in waves. Something was wrong, very wrong, utterly wrong.

But still her body had yet to catch up to her mind. Jane struggled to form sentences. "What?"

"Clementine…it's Clementine, Jane."

Instinctually, Jane realized the baby was nowhere to be found around the room. She tried to listen for the familiar sounds of a child, their child, in the house but…nothing. Besides the sounds of sirens out front the house was ominously quiet. Wait…sirens out front?

She jumped out of bed and threw on some random pair of sweats and a tank that had been flung on the floor last night. It looked like Maura's given how short it was on her long legs and the BCU logo but it hardly mattered. Clementine was her main focus.

Maura ran toward Jane, desperately mumbling incoherently in scientific terms. She paid little attention, only noticing the paramedics out front who were desperately motioning for Maura to come with. Why…why would she need to come with them? There's no need for her to go with him. Right? Right?

"Jane, I'm going to ride along with the paramedics. She'll do better with a doctor on board and she knows me. I want you to follow us in the car. Okay?"

Jane felt her head nod. Even with all of her training to handle situations like this the noise and chaos had made her numb. An annoying buzzing sound started building; the world seemed to stop as her brain struggled to comprehend. Clementine. This had to do with Clementine. But…why? Nothing could happen to Clementine. We…just put her to sleep…in her room.

She turned to Maura but she was gone. The paramedics were also missing. Where had everyone gone? No matter… She had Clementine…

Jane's feet stumbled toward the child's bedroom, each step nearly taking her to ground as her legs moved with an incoordination that felt unnatural. This is nothing but a dream, she thought, trudging across the wooden floorboards like it was quicksand. Clementine's just waiting for me, waiting for her breakfast…that's it.

"Mama!"

A disembodied voice that she knew to be a lie called out to her, beckoned her forward to the crib.

Oddly, and with a level of clarity that was nothing short of amazing, Jane noticed the vase of pink calla lilies placed on the changing table near Bass's enclosed habitat. Some of the petals had been knocked off by the paramedics or Maura in their rush to… Jane's mind couldn't piece together the rest of the sentence. She knew what she wanted to say, but it was too damn difficult to find the words to say it.

"Clementine…" Jane called out, hoping for a reply that she knew would never come.

She's gone. Clementine's gone.

Jane dropped unceremoniously to the floor as the words shot through her spine, shocking her mind with their implications.

Suddenly, she clapped her hands together, issuing a silent prayer of petition to a God she had little connection to. Jane didn't even know where the words came from but they flowed from her lips as if they knew they were needed for this particular moment.

As Jane finished her prayer, she looked down at her trembling hands.

"I love you so much, Clementine," she whispered, her tears pitter-pattering on the floor like raindrops. "I need you. Maura needs you. Please, don't die."


	12. Chapter 12

Breaking away from her fog of shock, Jane navigated Maura's Aston to the hospital, barely managing to park before racing inside the emergency entrance of Boston General. The few nurses that had had the courage to try to stop her were met with an icy stare of don't-get-in-my-way that Jane had perfected over the years as a detective.

Instinctually, she felt for the comforting weight of her gun and gold shield as she rampaged through the hospital looking for Maura and Clementine, frowning when she remembered that, at the moment, she was nothing more than an off-duty cop. No matter. Her attitude was the shield she needed and her fists could gladly serve as temporary weapons if need be.

Jane growled at a passing man wearing blue scrubs coming from the emergency pediatric unit, stopping him in his tracks. "Where's Maura Isles?"

"What?" the scared intern whimpered, cowling in fear. "There's no doctor here by that name, ma'am. If you'd like me to help you find a particular doctor-"

Quickly, she grabbed the man by the collar, interrupting his memorized spiel. "Did you just call me ma'am? If anyone is a ma'am, it's going to be you if you don't tell me where Maura is."

"Are you threatening me? With castration?"

"No. I'm warning you of your future punishment if you don't tell me where she is." Jane tightened her grip on the intern's collar. "Don't make me have to ask you again, boy."

Against her better judgment, she felt her free hand begin winding up to cold cock the useless intern into next week, but a familiar touch against her back stopped her. She knew who it was even without looking. Maura…there you are.

"Jane, stop terrorizing," Maura commanded weakly, dragging her away from the scared intern with a sigh. "I told you to follow me in the ambulance. Where the hell did you go? Dairy Queen?"

Jane looked over her girlfriend's disheveled appearance. Normally, the idea of looking so out of sorts in public would have given Maura a small heart-attack. She hardly seemed to notice her appearance which scared Jane even more on top of everything else. Clementine must be really bad to have Maura this out of sorts.

"Honey," Jane tried to begin as they raced through endless grey corridors. "How is she? How is Clementine?"

They got to a door marked Cardiology. Oh god…not here, not her heart. What could be wrong with a child's heart?

"The doctor's inside. Listen," Maura whispered anxiously, her eyes twitching endlessly. "Talk to him. I have to…I just need a minute. It's so hard seeing her like this. She was so happy yesterday. Why is this happening-"

Jane couldn't take it anymore. Fuck what people think, Jane thought, taking Maura in her arms. She waited for the tears that were sure to come but, unusually, Maura pushed her away. It was a struggle to not reveal the hurt she felt on her face. Maura…why won't you let me in?

"Just go…please, Jane. I'll be fine."

With a quick turn of foot, Maura was gone, leaving Jane to listen to the diagnosis on her own. Jane pushed through the large doors and immediately was accosted by a polite woman who had been told to look out for her if she came in. They walked into a large private room full of expensive monitoring equipment with a small incubator in the middle where Clementine lay, seemingly asleep. Jane wanted nothing more but to reach out and touch the baby, wake her, play another game of patty-cake. She looked fine…besides the slight bluish color to her skin.

"She's not fine. No matter how much she looks it, Ms. Rizzoli."

Jane looked up to see the doctor staring at her with a permanent frown painted on his face.

"Well, what's wrong with her then? She was fine last night. This is probably all a big misunderstanding." Jane said anxiously, starting toward the variety of tubes leading into the incubator to disconnect them. "My girlfriend, Maura Isles, she tends to overreact. Clementine was probably choking on a toy and she figured to call you guys thinking it was a pulmonary embolism or some nonsense. Clementine is fine. We'll just take her home. Do we still have to pay for the hospital visit or will this be covered by our insurance-"

The doctor quickly grabbed Jane by the shoulders and shoved her over to a well-furnished waiting area. With a firm yet polite shove, she found herself sprawled on the couch next to the emotionless doctor.

"Oww! Was that necessary?" Jane asked angrily.

"You were going to disconnect the equipment keeping your daughter alive," he said matter-of-factly. "I would think stopping you from doing that was pretty necessary."

Jane frowned before sighing in exhaustion. "She's fine."

"No," the doctor emphasized. "No, she isn't. Dr. Isles acted the same way when she first got here with Clementine."

"So…what's wrong with her then?"

"Clementine is suffering from several cyanotic heart defects, collectively known as blue baby syndrome. More specifically persistent truncus arteriosus, a rare defect that sometimes presents itself at birth but usually occurs randomly. In this case, she had the defect at birth."

"Trunk us art ear ahh what?" Jane asked bewilderedly, unable to process his words. "But…she's been fine for weeks. She's been a normal, happy baby until today."

"Which was a miracle in of itself," he frowned. "I can't tell you how Clementine's been able to make it this long without any noticeable side effects. But, in a nutshell, persistent truncus arteriosus involves the malposition of arteries within the heart. This creates a problem with blood properly reaching the lungs," he motioned toward Clementine's still blue body surrounded by medical paraphernalia, "which causes the blue coloring. She's not getting enough oxygen."

"Oh my god…she can't breathe?"

"No, Ms. Rizzoli, she can breathe just fine. It's her inability to get oxygen into her blood that's the problem."

Jane looked over at the child, wishing she could take her place. It wasn't fair for a child to have to go through this, especially Clementine. She's already seen her adoptive parents kill each other and now this…

Shaking her head, Jane turned her attention back to the patient doctor. "So she had it when she was born… Why didn't someone correct it back then?"

The doctor pulled out a small sheet from a folder, handing it to the detective.

"I was asking myself the same thing when I was examining her. The surgery is complex for a neonate but certainly not terribly difficult for a skilled surgeon. And then I got these from pediatrics." He motioned toward the papers in Jane's hands. "Have you heard of the Samaritan program?"

Jane shook her head.

"Not that many people have. It's a foreign relief program for newborns with rare illnesses. A child born in a foreign country to parents who aren't in position to provide the child with the care it needs are sent to benefactors who can. After the child gets the services in question, the child is supposed to be sent back to his or her family, who are beyond grateful for the charity provided. In Clementine's case, I don't think her temporary family was prepared to give her back."

Jane didn't hear anything the doctor said. Her mind was focused only on the birth certificate and corresponding picture of Clementine – albeit in a smaller form with a goofy smile – staring back at her. Oh my god…

"Her name is…Suki? You mean…she has parents?" she asked bewilderedly, reading over the papers continuously. "I can't believe it…"

"Suki's parents sent her over to the United States when she was just a couple of days old, hoping their child would be returned to them after her life-saving operation. When they didn't hear back from the couple after a month, they assumed the worst and moved on with their lives."

So this was why Maura seemed so withdrawn earlier. Knowing that Clementine had a family, an actual living breathing family, made all of the fantasies of having her in their lives became null and void. Jane felt like her heart had been tugged out of her chest and stamped on. She wanted to believe that Clementine – or Suki? – was still their child but she couldn't lie, at least, not to herself. Finding Clementine's family had always been her primary concern yet knowing she had accomplished her forgotten goal did little to soothe her troubled soul.

"Well…can you do the surgery? I'm sure the parents would appreciate having their little," she struggled to say the name without cringing in pain, "Suki back, regardless of the time it took."

The doctor leaned back. "We can do the surgery. However, you should know, the odds of…survival are scant at best. At her age the operation is nearly multiplied in difficulty."

"Are you saying it's not worth it to at least try?"

"I'm _saying_ that it's extremely risky, Ms. Rizzoli. Some would even say too risky to pursue. But it's not my choice to make. It's yours and Dr. Isles'. If you want to take the chance, I'll do the very best I can to get her through it safely. Be advised, however, that you'll have to pay for the surgery out of your pocket. Very few insurance agencies have congenital heart defects under their coverage."

Jane narrowed her eyes. "How much will it cost?"

The doctor quoted a rough estimate with several digits and zeros. Jane coughed in shock. Even with Maura's financial assistance the surgery would break the bank for the both of them. Her heart told her to do the surgery but, in the back of her mind, she knew that sucking up their savings for a surgery that could do more harm than good wasn't particularly wise.

Suddenly, Maura staggered into the room and collapsed into the seat next to them, completely exhausted. Despite her prolonged absence, she still looked just as miserable and troubled as before, her puffy red eyes and blotchy face still present. Jane felt an overwhelming sympathy for her girlfriend, wanting to comfort Maura with every ounce of her being.

"You don't have to decide now," the doctor said, handing a box of tissues to the blonde with a smile. "Clementine isn't in any immediate danger of dying. Her most pressing ailments regarding her truncus are being managed and she's receiving around the clock care. She should be fine for a couple of days at the least. Take your time."

The doctor stood to leave but Jane quickly stopped him.

"Umm…doctor, what would happen to Clementine if she didn't get the surgery?"

With a shrug, the doctor crossed his arms. "She'll be kept alive with machines. The kind thing to do would be to end her suffering but…people have different beliefs regarding…issues like this. I'm not sure what yours are. Excuse me, I have another patient."

He left and Jane finally had a chance to fully take in Maura's tired face. There was so much to talk about yet Jane wasn't sure either of them was ready for the discussion to take place. How does one start something like this? So…I know we care for Clementine a lot but this surgery is a little expensive. You want to just cut the tubes now or what? Eugh…it sounded so cruel and efficient.

"Jane?" Maura asked, her voice nothing more but a small whisper.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to make the decision. For Clementine. I can't bring myself to make that kind of choice."

Jane didn't want to make the decision either given her recent track-record concerning decision making, but she knew how much Maura cared. That was her weakness, her kryptonite. She cared too much to kill another human being even if death was the only compassionate route to take. It was one of the reasons why she hadn't become a surgeon like Constance had wanted her to.

"Are you sure?"

Maura nodded weakly. "And I want you to go home. Get ready for your trial."

"Maura…"

Maura's hazel eyes burned with an intensity that Jane couldn't ignore. "Jane. No discussion. I want…to be alone with her for a while. Say my last…" her voice broke with emotion. "Please, honey. Go."

"I don't want to," Jane whispered, moving to embrace Maura, needing to take her in her arms.

"I know. But I need you to," Maura replied sadly against Jane's lips.

Words that still needed to be said were lost as she silenced Jane with a passionate desperate kiss. Time stopped as they relished the warmth of each other's bodies, their collective misery over everything that had changed in just twelve hours. Nothing would ever be the same. Nothing ever could be the same.

And now I have to sit in court for four hours. Dammit.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N - *sigh* This story is becoming a thorn in my side. I kinda want to take it out back and put it out of it's misery. Judging from some of the responses from last chapter, I'm sure several of you wouldn't have a problem supplying me with the gun. :)

* * *

"Detective Rizzoli? Are we boring you?"

Jane looked up from her hands with unfocused eyes, her mind lost in thought. Since leaving the hospital to prepare for the trial she had been in a fog of shock that she couldn't shake off. The decision she had to make on the behalf of a child that had become her own was just impossible to comprehend.

What do I do? Take a leap of faith with little chance of success or…the other option that made her ill just to think about? And what about Maura? God…I can't even imagine what Maura is feeling. She looked so miserable when she literally pushed Jane out of the hospital and started the car for her. Jane wanted to be with Maura now. Why am I even here in this damn courtroom, testifying about my actions? Maura needs me. Clementine needs me.

"Jane!" Eric exclaimed, his face looking like he was going to explode. "Daydreaming in the middle of closing arguments isn't exactly beneficially to proving our case."

Jane blinked once, twice, thrice before shaking her head, trying desperately to stay focused on the task at hand. She saw the familiar faces of her friends and fellow detectives as they stared at her with looks of concern as she struggled to hide the emotions threatening to take over.

"Umm…sorry. I'm…just tired," Jane stammered. "I'm paying attention."

Lawrence rolled his eyes. "Thank god for small miracles. She's been all over the place since we started, your honor. She is making a mockery of your courtroom-"

"Mr. Lawrence, please. Your brown-nosing is making a mockery of the legal system," the judge yawned, turning his attention to Jane. "Ms. Rizzoli. You have been particularly vacant. We can take a five minute recess if you need time to gather your thoughts."

"No, I'm fine. We were doing closing statements?"

Eric nodded, smiling politely. "Yes. I want you to address the judge yourself concerning the case."

Jane sighed. "Your honor, I just want to say…that I've made choices in my life that most people will never be in position to make. In hindsight, it's easy to say something is wrong or right but when you're placed in a position and you have to act…" Her throat closed, stopping her for a brief moment. "You have to follow your gut. I'm sorry that Mr. Tomlinson died that night. No one deserves to have life taken away from them. But, on that night, Mr. Tomlinson wasn't a man with a serious mental illness or a son. He was a person of interest in a drug operation that directly caused a trail of dead kids across the state. I stand by my actions."

With a brief nod, Jane walked back to her seat next to Eric. He gave a quick pat on her shoulder before he stood up to finish up the trial. After he finished, the judge addressed the court with his ruling.

"Over the span of this trial, I have heard both sides of a particularly complex scenario. However, the plaintiff has failed to prove that Detective Jane Rizzoli is guilty of anything other than having questionable judgment. Questionable judgment isn't a legal offense. On the behalf of the court, I offer my sincerest apologies to the Tomlinson family concerning their loss but the deceased, at the time of his death, was resisting arrest. That is the primary concern." He picked at his nails for a second, a hangnail proving impossible to ignore. "Regarding this case, I find in favor for the defendant."

A loud cheer rose up from Jane's side of the courtroom, bringing an exasperated groan to the judge's face. Despite the happy mood coming from her fellow detectives, Jane was unable to crack a smile, her worry for Clementine and Maura still her primary focus.

The judge banged his gavel to get the attention of the court.

"I do make one final suggestion to the defendant before court is adjourned," he said, frowning heavily. "Never forget that your actions have consequences, Ms. Rizzoli. Consequences affect the lives of the people who have entrusted you with the power to make those actions in the first place. If you aren't careful, the next time I see you, it'll be in criminal court with far more at risk than your badge and pension. Court is adjourned."

The judge's last words caught Jane's attention but for only a second. As soon as she turned on her phone, an infinite amount of messages started to pile in, all from Maura. They all said the same thing. Something has happened. Come to the hospital immediately.

Ignoring the happy praises and friendly slaps on her back, Jane ran out the courtroom and to her car. A sense of dread left her shaking and trembling. She knew what this meant. Fate had made the decision that she couldn't.


	14. Chapter 14

The machines that had been lightly purring earlier near Clementine's incubator were whirring aggressively when Jane had finally reached the child's room. From the saddened looks of the nurses and interns, she had been expecting a funeral dirge as soon as she opened the door. Silence and muted artificial light met her instead.

The doctor from earlier stood near the incubator, carefully adjusting the rapidly beating machines. Maura sat in a crumpled heap, holding the baby's small lifeless hand with a clenching grip. From across the room, Jane could feel an answering sensation in her own hand. She also wanted to desperately hold onto Clementine and fight for her, give her the strength she needed. It wasn't fair for a helpless, defenseless child to be taken away from them. At least, not like this.

Quietly, Jane made her way toward the incubator, knowing what she would find there. Clementine's husk of a body left to mourn over. She prepared herself for the pain that promised to come. Don't make me see this, Jane thought, her feet slowly taking her forward.

"She's not dead, Ms. Rizzoli," the doctor whispered, turning to face Jane.

Jane sighed in relief. "Thank god. I was worried. With all of those texts you were sending me, Maura-"

"But she has taken a turn for the worst," the doctor said matter-of-factly. "In a situation like this where she was already touch and go… It is a death sentence."

"What?" Jane asked bewilderedly. "But I thought you said we could do the surgery? I don't know where we're going to get the money but…do it. She still has a chance."

"No, she doesn't." The doctor walked over to Jane and sat her down next to the still blonde. "While you were gone, Clementine started having troubles breathing on her own. By the time we got the oxygen sufficient in her incubator, I noticed that she was experiencing heart failure."

Jane slumped awkwardly in the seat, feeling all of the energy in her body evaporate. Heart failure…wasn't that like a heart attack? How can a baby have a heart attack? Is that…even possible?

"Heart failure…" Jane sobbed.

"It happens in these types of cases. By itself it isn't inherently fatal if treated correctly but, honestly, heart failure is the least of Clementine's problems at the moment. They all add up to a body working overtime just to keep working properly," the doctor sighed. "There's no way we can move forward with the surgery. She's too weak. If we take a chance and move forward there's no guarantee Clementine won't die on the operating table."

Jane reached out to grab Maura's hand. It trembled weakly in her grasp. Knowing how affected Maura was and how she tried to hide it nearly brought out her own tears. Their eyes met, speaking to each other with a level of intimacy only lovers could share.

_Do something for her. She's going to die._

_I don't think I can._

_I love you… No matter what happens._

_I know. I love you too._

The doctor watched the two women silently converse with each other, waiting for them to finish. Clementine's small slightly blue body twitched slightly inside the incubator, her small mouth forming the words she couldn't speak. Mama Jane. Mama Maura.

"We can still perform the surgery."

Jane grimaced. "What if we wait? Until she's stronger."

"There's no point. Her heart failure and other ailments are a direct result of the persistent truncus arteriosus. One is causing the other. If we wait…Clementine's body is just going to keep getting weaker and weaker until," he looked away slightly, "we won't be able to keep her alive mechanically."

A sob broke from Maura's lips, the first emotional response to the doctor's words she had made. Jane continued to hold her hand, offering Maura the only form of comfort she could.

Jane's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Is she…in pain?"

"We're trying to keep it to a minimum but...yes."

"Then that's our decision," Jane whispered hoarsely. "Stop her… Stop her pain. It's not fair to…try and keep her alive just because it's easier on us to keep lying to ourselves."

"You do realize what that means?"

Maura clutched Jane's hand with a sudden amount of force. There was no need to say what they were both feeling as they continued to gaze upon their little Clementine's body.

"Yes, I understand. _We_ understand. There's no use fighting the inevitable," Jane sobbed, silent tears starting to fall.

With a nod, the doctor looked at the two women with a straight face.

"Would you like to say your goodbyes?" he asked, his hands already moving toward the various apparatuses that were keeping much needed oxygen flowing into Clementine's lungs.

Maura stood up from the chair quickly and ran out of the room.

Jane's face fell in response, her slack-jawed expression almost comical. "Maura…"

"Grief is a complex emotion," the doctor said, picking his words carefully so as not to offend. "What about you?"

"Umm…your mommies love…loved you a lot. More than we should have." Jane moved to give one last tussle of hair poking up from Clementine's head. The baby gave a weak smile in response. "I wished we…could have had more time together. You were really starting to grow on me. And…um…we'll miss you a lot."

"Mama…Maura…," Clementine croaked out.

"She…had to leave, sweetheart. Seeing you like this was all a bit too much for her."

Clementine's eyes opened slightly. "Mama," she called out weakly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…for not being able to save you, Clementine," Jane whispered, trembling with the effort to remain reserved.

The doctor politely stepped toward her hunched over frame. "This isn't your fault."

"But it is," Jane chuckled bitterly, taking her hand away from Clementine's incubator for the last time. "I made the choice to let her stay with us even though I knew that Maura could get hurt. And now…now this is happening. If I had just called social services to begin with, all of this could have been avoided. So, yeah, this is my fault, doctor."

With a sigh, Jane turned away. There was nothing more she could do. Her main focus had to shift toward something she still had some semblance of control over, Maura. As she exited out of the large doors, the rapidly whirring sounds of life coming from the medical apparatuses ceased, causing a sympathetic pang of utter misery to ring throughout her heart.

All of the life within her body seemed to fade away, leaving nothing but a cold shell in its place. Jane had dealt with victims who had lost a child before but never had she experienced the unbearable pain for herself.

So this is what it feels like…to lose a child.

Suddenly, a strong gagging sensation overwhelmed her. The only thing on her mind now was to find a bathroom before a bunch of medical interns saw the tough-as-nails Detective Jane Rizzoli vomiting on the linoleum floor.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N - Last chapter. *hands reader a box of tissues* As always, it was too much fun. I hope all of the readers out there got as much fun out of this story as I did. Anyway...have fun and hope you enjoy the last chapter.

* * *

Jane had found Maura in the parking garage, next to her sleek Aston. How she had managed to find the car without knowing where she parked it, Jane had no idea. The only thing that mattered was reaching Maura and providing her with the much needed comfort she needed.

With heaving breaths, Jane ran up to Maura, her back turned. "Honey…Clementine is…"

"How did the trial go?" Maura interrupted with a toneless voice, turning to face Jane.

Jane frowned in confusion, unsure how to handle this unexpected topic. "Fine…I guess. Judge dismissed the case. But…are you alright? You ran out before…telling Clementine goodbye."

Maura's unfocused eyes filled with tears before she shook her head as if to push the pain away. Immediately, Jane recognized Maura's response as denial regarding Clementine's death. It was important to handle this situation carefully.

"I…I don't feel…quite right," Maura replied sluggishly. "Can we leave?"

Jane smiled weakly and moved forward to offer Maura a comforting kiss which was quickly rejected with an icy shrug of indifference. "Sure. If that's what you want."

Maura nodded and waited quietly for Jane to open the door for her. After gingerly guiding her into the car, Jane followed suit and, with little hesitation, made her way out of the parking garage. The purring magnificence of Maura's Aston could usually lift her mood with just a single revving up of the powerful engine but it did nothing for her today.

Jane had moved pass shock, descending into the black hole of complete and utter grief that came with loss. It wouldn't be easy to move on from…Clementine's death but she knew they could with time. They would be back to their old selves sooner rather than later. Right?

No, Jane thought, knowing the effect that Clementine had on the both of them. There was no use lying.

Sighing, Jane looked over at Maura as they crawled through late-afternoon Boston traffic. A resounding sound of thunder echoed outside and, with the promise of rain on the horizon, traffic slowed from a crawl to a complete stop. Maura was unaffected by the slowdown, her eyes dim and emotionless.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think it's going to rain?"

Jane did a double-take. "That's usually what thunder means, Maura," she said sarcastically.

"I guess," Maura whispered, fiddling with her fire-opal ring obsessively. "I called Pike. He didn't seem to be too thrilled to hear I'm coming back to work."

Jane couldn't mask the surprise from her face. "What? No. Absolutely not."

"It's not your decision to make, Jane. I'm telling you out of respect."

In frustration, Jane clutched the steering wheel, repressing the urge to curse. "Maura…c'mon. Don't do this."

"Do what?" Maura snapped back.

"Clementine…died." Jane shivered as the words echoed in the small interior of the car. Another clash of thunder sounded outside as she carefully negotiated through the standstill traffic. "Ignoring it won't make it go away. Acceptance is the only way to move forward."

"Don't feed me the company line," Maura spat out, exhaling tiredly. "I've accepted it."

"Really? Then tell me that Clementine is gone. I want to hear you say it."

Silence descended upon the two women as the tension between them ratcheted tenfold. It had been months since they had last fought with this kind of underlying intensity. By egging her on, Jane hoped to get Maura talking and on the step to recovery. But the blonde was having none of it.

"Forcing me to grieve your way isn't going to make me feel better."

In frustration, Jane slammed her hand on the horn, causing a rising wave of horns from the other annoyed drivers to respond in kind. "Dammit, Maura! I'm not trying to force you to do anything. I just…can't stand seeing you like this. Please, honey, talk to me."

After a brief moment, another heavy sigh came from Maura's lips. "I just…feel like we lost our last chance. Clementine was perfect and then she was taken away from me, from us," she said tonelessly. "It's almost like the world doesn't want us to have a child…like natural mothering selection for lesbians in their thirties."

With a final clash of thunder the gates were released and the sky finally started dropping a torrential downpour just as Jane turned off of the congested highway toward their home.

"What are you talking about?" she asked bewilderedly. "We can have another child, a child that's really ours. Once we get everything in order-"

"Then we can have a child. You've said it so many times," Maura interjected exasperatedly.

"Because having a child is a big decision," Jane said. "You can't just up and decide to have a baby whenever the mood strikes. You said yourself you didn't want a child named Oops and Mistake, remember?"

Maura shrugged, still staring out at the rainy Beacon Hill streets moving by in one continuous blur from the luxurious interior of the Aston. "This coming from the woman who acts first and thinks later…" she added underneath her breath.

Jane frowned in confusion, bewildered by the blonde's unusually indignant behavior. "Maura…you know that I never had a silver spoon in my mouth. I didn't have a trust fund, a rich uncle, or a mother with social ties to the Kennedy family. I never got the opportunity to goof off, go to college, and go to a tin-foil party for Delta Delta Delta. Everything I accomplished, I worked my ass off to get. Me, on my own, with no assistance. I don't ever want my child," she shook her head, realizing her mistake, "our child to have to go through that, to feel that she would have to make the choice between going to BCU or making her family go broke to send her there."

"I know that, Jane. And I don't want our child to have to go through that either. But I can't wait any longer. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who wants to make a decision. You're perfectly content sitting in neutral, waiting for time to pass us by. Do you even want children?"

"Of course I do. But there's no rush. You got your eggs frozen a couple of months ago. We have plenty of time-"

"How do we have plenty of time? We're going to be forty in a couple of years. Having children at that age is incredibly difficult on both mother and child, not to mention the potential chromosomal irregularities that could lead to birth defects," Maura sighed. "Just because I got my eggs frozen doesn't mean I want to have a child at fifty."

"Okay, I'm officially confused. We're supposed to be talking about Clementine not children in general. Where is this coming from?"

Jane parked the car in their driveway and turned to see the silent tears coming down Maura's face. God, I'm such an idiot, she thought miserably, tears starting to come down her own cheeks. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. After everything they had been through, Maura didn't deserve that. She needed someone in her corner, someone that knew what she was going through. No one could ever fit that bill better than Jane.

"Maura…I'm sorry."

"No," Maura interrupted, her voice deadly quiet. "Don't. Listen to me, Jane, because I don't want to have to repeat myself. It might be selfish of me to want both someone as perfect as you and a child in my life but…having Clementine in my life made me realize how important this is to me. I need a child."

"I know."

"And I'm tired of waiting on you to make a decision."

Jane sighed, pushing her hand through her hair. "I know," she repeated, her voice flat and emotionless.

"If you say 'I know' one more time, I swear to god you'll be sleeping on the couch for a very long time."

"Please don't say that," Jane pouted. "You know how much I hate the couch."

After a brief heavy silence, a muffled cry echoed through the interior of the car.

"Oh god…Clementine's gone. I've lost her; a piece of my heart is missing. I loved her so much," Maura sobbed in a soft weak voice, tears running down her face.

Jane, unsure of how to remedy Maura's pain, did the one thing her troubled mind felt was right. She extended her hand out to take one of the blonde's trembling hands, offering her a source of comfort. You're not in this alone, Jane thought, hoping with all of her heart that Maura could feel her sincerity.

"We both loved her," she whispered. "Even…at the end, she knew how much her two mommies cared for her."

Maura stopped sobbing to look over at Jane with a watery smile.

"I bet she had the biggest smile on her face. You know how much she loves…loved to smile." She took out a picture of the two of them with Clementine – dressed in a mouse onesie that Maura had picked out – when they had taken a trip to the zoo last week. Jane couldn't help smiling at the baby's joyous grin of excitement, remembering how happy Clementine had been upon seeing the murky form of the manatee moving toward them in the aquarium. Her giggles had been infectious, bringing a smile to anyone who saw the adorable baby enjoying her visit to the zoo with her two mommies.

That was a good day, Jane recalled. Quite honestly, each day they had spent together had been nothing short of fantastic. Going back to death and solving puzzles six days a week was just…utterly unappealing to the detective which was beyond appalling. She had spent her whole life working to be a homicide detective and now, after two weeks with a baby, her priorities had been completely uprooted and replaced with the need to raise a child with Maura.

Jane had always found it unfathomable to leave BPD like so many of her former female detective friends who had decided to leave crime behind to enter the land of motherhood. Why give up something as exhilarating as being a detective to clean up after snotty little humans? But Clementine had changed her. Giving up the badge and gun in exchange for desk duty and the joy of coming home to a child's squeal of excitement seemed far less like absolute craziness. To be honest, it seemed more like absolute perfection.

Oh my god…I'm turning into my mother, Jane realized, much to her chagrin. She shook her head in an effort to banish the ideas away and return back to the woman who needed her attention most.

"The biggest. She looked like the cat that ate the canary," Jane said, wiping the tears from Maura's face.

Silence spread around the two grief stricken women as the late afternoon rain shower continued to pound upon the car. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Maura broke the silence.

"I'm sorry…about being so mean to you earlier. I just-"

"Don't apologize," Jane interrupted, clutching Maura's hand possessively. "Everything you've been through in the last couple of hours, I can't blame you for being a little mean. It's to be expected. I'd rather you tell me to fuck off than tell Pike. He can't handle your abuse like I can."

Maura chuckled quietly. "You know I would never do that."

"Oh, I don't know about that, honey. We all know that you have a naughty streak." Jane laughed as a pleasant memory came to her attention. "Remember when you used the whip on my cli-"

Maura shot Jane a look that screamed for her to stop talking, immediately.

"Just because you know that, and I know that, doesn't mean Pike needs to join the club of knowledge," she said, giving Jane a friendly poke in the ribs before turning to look at the lighted door of their home.

Noticing her sudden apprehension, Jane frowned. "You don't want to go home, do you?"

"Not really."

Jane wasn't surprised. Seeing all of Clementine's various stuffed animals, smelling the remnant aromas of baby food, and hearing the faint echoes of a child that was no longer present would do little to help either of them accept Clementine's death. All of the grief they felt needed time to rest before it could be dealt with properly. And the only way that was going to happen was to get away.

Jane moved to start the Aston back up. The soothing purr of the engine brought a small smile to her lips as she exited out of the driveway.

"Where are we going?" Maura asked.

"Your parents are out of town again aren't they?"

Maura tilted her head in confusion. "Well…yes. Mother had to attend her former student's art installation in Los Angeles and Father is in Russia doing research on the social behavior of narwhals in their natural habitat. Why do you ask?"

"We're going to spend the night at your parents' place tonight," Jane said, speeding easily through traffic. "Tomorrow… tomorrow we'll deal with everything. But tonight it's going to be just us, some Sam Adams, a bowl of Orville Redenbacher, and a movie."

"Do you think we could watch 'The Little Mermaid'?"

"Yeah," Jane beamed. "I think Clementine would like that."

* * *

Endnote - Before you start typing me a review *bats eyelashes* or whatever, yes, I will be continuing Jane and Maura's story at some point in the future. Because of this I decided to go with an open-ended ending so I have something to work with when I decide to write the fifth installment...whenever that happens. Ok, now I'm done. All of you readers/reviewers have been oh so sweet. Thanks. :)


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